Thursday, October 22, 2009
Lost Presumed Missing
From the inimitable David Forward at Tractorstats
If anyone didnt know Royal Mail are on strike today
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Monday, October 19, 2009
Royal Fail
Picture by Lakelander
Royal Mail have failed miserably, of course its not their fault, its Mandelsnakes directive from on high (the European commission) to open up the monopoly to foreigners and is an EU directive. In short they are utterly lost.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Stephen Gately requiescat in pacem
STEPHEN GATELY
17th March 1976 - 10th October 2009
Condolences....
17th March 1976 - 10th October 2009
Condolences....
Thursday, October 8, 2009
One gay man, two lesbians, a three-legged cat and a poisoned curry plot
Truly the Daily Wail have excelled themselves on this one
You could not make this story up, it is a classic.
A gay man tried to poison his lesbian neighbours by putting slug pellets into their curry after he was accused of kidnapping their three-legged cat.
You could not make this story up, it is a classic.
A gay man tried to poison his lesbian neighbours by putting slug pellets into their curry after he was accused of kidnapping their three-legged cat.
Friday, October 2, 2009
Vote No to Lisbon
If you want to keep your independence Ireland (Eire) then Vote No.
If you want Tony Blair as President of Europe Vote Yes
Your Choice, Your decision.
If you want Tony Blair as President of Europe Vote Yes
Your Choice, Your decision.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Brownian Motion
That dress and that smirk. It makes me want to puke. What happened to good fashion? or at least easy pastel colours?
The body language is obvious, hes as pleased as punch and forgetting about judy in the background along with the glaringly mismatched yellow stilettos.
I havent seen such a fashion disaster for years and thats being kind.
As for the half dead gerberas or chrysanthemums on the dress Oh my did no one point out how clashing those colours were?
Red was the background at the very least you should have worn green with a touch of blue accessories. As it is its a complete mess hence the brownian motion of the title.
Monday, September 28, 2009
Schoolgirl, 14, dies and three classmates taken ill after being given new cervical cancer vaccine
A 14-year-old schoolgirl has died shortly after being given a cervical cancer vaccine.
The teenager was one of four classmates at a school in Coventry to have apparently suffered side-effects after receiving a jab as part of a national immunisation programme.
All vaccines are not safe. This illustrates how dangerous they can be.
So the killing season has begun
Update Also in the Times
The teenager was one of four classmates at a school in Coventry to have apparently suffered side-effects after receiving a jab as part of a national immunisation programme.
All vaccines are not safe. This illustrates how dangerous they can be.
About Cervarix
More than 1 in 10 doses may cause pain, redness and swelling at the injection site, headache, aching muscles and muscle weakness, and tiredness.
More than 1 in 100 doses may cause nausea, vomiting, diarrhoea, abdominal pain, itching, red skin rash, hives, joint pain and high fever.
More than 1 in 1000 doses may cause upper respiratory tract infection, dizziness, a hard lump at the injection site, tingling or numbness.
If the side-effects get serious or you have an affect not mentioned in this leaflet, tell your doctor.
According to a GlaxoSmithKline UK electronic medicines compendium document dated 24 September 2007, subjects in the trial of this product were only monitored for side-effects for 30 days and any occuring after this time were not included in the study.
This vaccine has not been studied to see if it is safe to have during or immediately before pregnancy. It is not known whether the vaccine is excreted in human milk and there have been no studies on its interaction with other drugs (they don't know whether it is safe to have alongside other medicines).
Cervarix is for use against two types of Human Papillomavirus, thought to cause 70% of sexually transmitted cervical cancers. It will NOT protect you against all types of HPV. Duration of 'protection' after vaccination is unknown, but thought to be 5.5 years. So if a 12 year old is vaccinated, it may have worn off by the time she's 17. The need for booster doses has not been studied.
Ingredients:
Two types of HPV Virus (16 and 18)
AS04 (aluminium salts and monophosphoryl liquid to make you produce antibodies)
Sodium Chloride
sodium dihydrogen phosphate dihydrate
Virus like particles from the Trichoplusia ni insect (the cabbage looper)
Water
People who should not have Cervarix vaccine:
Those who are allergic to the ingredients of the vaccine (allergic reactions include those listed in the side-effects and swelling of the face, difficulty breathing etc.)
Those with a severe infection or high temperature
Special care should be taken if you have a bleeding disorder or any kind of immunosuppression such as HIV or cancer.
If you are taking other medications, the safety of this vaccine has not been evaluated.
If you are sexually active, the safety of this vaccine is not known in unborn babies. If a girl or young woman gets pregnant during a course of injections, these should be stopped.
The cabbage looper, from which they have taken 'virus like particles' for use in the Cervarix vaccine
Dr. Diane Harper Says Cervarix Is An Experiment As Scottish Ministers Refuse To Allow The Vaccine
Mass vaccination with Cervarix vaccine has been delayed in Scotland.
Dr. Diane Harper, director of the Gynaecological Cancer Research Group at Dartmouth Medical Center in the US, who in fact was paid by GlaxoSmithKline, the manufacturer's of the shot, to conduct safety trials, says there's no proof the vaccine is safe and that safety trials of the Cervarix vaccine should have been conducted for at least four more years before the decision was taken to give the jabs to thousands of girls in schools.
Harper believes the safety tests for side effects should have been conducted for at least a decade and doses given to millions of individuals around the world before any mass vaccination began. She described the cervical cancer vaccination scheme in Scotland as an "experiment".
"We can't tell you it's 100% safe because we don't know that. I think we would have been better waiting.'
Source: News.Scotsman.com, 2nd November 2008.
VAN UK's Comment: In an electronic medicines compendium document that we read, dated 24 September 2007, it stated that safety monitoring for Cervarix was only conducted for 30 days, not months or years. This document has now been updated to 2nd September 2008 and now says that girls were followed for side-effects for the duration of the study, but several thousand of these individuals were not followed for more than 30 days:
'In a pre-defined subset of subjects (Cervarix = 8,130 versus control = 5,786), adverse events were followed for 30 days after each injection.'
See:
http://emc.medicines.org.uk/ and type in Cervarix to find both this document and GlaxoSmithKline's data sheet.
So the killing season has begun
Update Also in the Times
An Apple a Day?
Picture courtesy of David Forward of Tractorstats fame
It soon might be election day. But you know as well as I do that the wicked warlord of the East, Lord Mandelcrunch of Rentajob has said that he will take a job for the Tories?
So do you take the blue part of the apple or the red part? Either way you still get Mandelson.
Its actually quite representative of British Politics that apple. It doesn't matter what you do if you vote red or blue you get the same maggots, when you bite into it.
Why do you vote for them?
"I didn't choose this party I was born into it". Yes and thats why you joined the young Communists is it Mandy?
Which side of the Apple is poisoned? You decide. I would choose a different fruit.
Its a better bet. It may not be what you are used to but there are 50% of the population who don't vote. If those people voted changes would happen.
Apathy will get you the same apple. Go get a different one today.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Liar Liar Pants on Fire: Baroness Scotland
Baroness Scotland never saw Lolo's passport. She lies. I prefer to listen to Lolo because she has said she is prepared to take a lie detector test.
The Baroness is Toast. If she had prepared a written statement for the police she is now guilty of perjury. All this from the person who is in charge of the law for Great Britain. A great big stinking hypocrite.
Thanks to the Lone Voice for the photo
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Swine Flu and the Mental Health Act
The government plans to rush through measures allowing people with suspected mental health issues to be quickly detained because of fears over staff shortages in any forthcoming swine flu outbreak, it has been revealed.
The temporary changes to the Mental Health Act, as laid out in an unusually short consultation lasting just one month, would mean it would only take one doctor, rather than two, to have a person sectioned and put on medication without their consent.
The measures could have a serious effect on the thousands of patients with psychiatric issues who currently live outside state care, meaning many could be detained against their will on the word of just one health professional.
Its starting Don't say you weren't warned. It leaves the door open to detain people who show paranoia about the swine flu vaccination and insist upon not having it.
I had hoped this would never occur but it seems it is going to.
People will be locked up and detained and given the vaccine being forcibly held down
Friday, September 25, 2009
How to beat the Flu
The Five Best Anti-Viral Products to Beat Influenza, Swine Flu, Bird Flu and SARS
With thanks to Natural News
I see the GMC have been swarming over my blog as usual. You wonder if they have anything better to do than to read blogs and report that their little empire has cracks in it.
Make no mistake, we are the last of the Jedis and we will fight the evil empire.
( a totally rambling and completely metaphorically mixed up post but then allegory is the teaching of the ages)
With thanks to Natural News
I see the GMC have been swarming over my blog as usual. You wonder if they have anything better to do than to read blogs and report that their little empire has cracks in it.
Make no mistake, we are the last of the Jedis and we will fight the evil empire.
( a totally rambling and completely metaphorically mixed up post but then allegory is the teaching of the ages)
Thursday, September 24, 2009
The Lights all went down in Massachusetts
Massachusetts by the Bee Gees
The United States of America is devolving into medical fascism and Massachusetts is leading the way with the passage of a new bill, the "Pandemic Response Bill" 2028, reportedly just passed by the MA state Senate and now awaiting approval in the House. This bill suspends virtually all Constitutional rights of Massachusetts citizens and forces anyone "suspected" of being infected to submit to interrogations, "decontaminations" and vaccines.
(Violation of 4th Amendment: Illegal search and seizure)
During either type of declared emergency, a local public health authority... may exercise authority... to require the owner or occupier of premises to permit entry into and investigation of the premises; to close, direct, and compel the evacuation of, or to decontaminate or cause to be
decontaminated any building or facility; to destroy any material; to restrict or prohibit assemblages of persons;
(Violation of 14th Amendment; illegal arrest without a warrant)
...an officer authorized to serve criminal process may arrest without a warrant any person whom the officer has probable cause to believe has violated an order given to effectuate the purposes of this subsection and shall use reasonable diligence to enforce such order. [Gunpoint]
(Government price controls)
The attorney general, in consultation with the office of consumer affairs and business regulation, and upon the declaration by the governor that a supply emergency exists, shall take appropriate action to ensure that no person shall sell a product or service that is at a price that unreasonably exceeds the price charged before the emergency.
"Involuntary Transportation" (also known as kidnapping)
Law enforcement authorities, upon order of the commissioner or his agent or at the request of a local public health authority pursuant to such order, shall assist emergency medical technicians or other appropriate medical personnel in the involuntary transportation of such person to the tuberculosis treatment center.
$1,000 / day in fines
Any person who knowingly violates an order, as to which noncompliance
poses a serious danger to public health as determined by the commissioner or the local public health authority, shall be punished by imprisonment for not more than 30 days or a fine of not more than one thousand dollars per day that the violation continues, or both.
Forced vaccinations
Furthermore, when the commissioner or a local public health authority within its jurisdiction determines that either or both of the following measures are necessary to prevent a serious danger to the public health the commissioner or local public health authority may exercise the following authority: (1) to vaccinate or provide precautionary prophylaxis to individuals as protection against communicable disease...
Forced quarantine for those who refuse (illegal imprisonment without charge)
An individual who is unable or unwilling to submit to vaccination or treatment shall not be required to submit to such procedures but may be isolated or quarantined pursuant to section 96 of chapter 111 if his or her refusal poses a serious danger to public health or results in uncertainty whether he or she has been exposed to or is infected with a disease or condition that poses a serious danger to public health, as determined by the commissioner, or a local public health authority operating within its jurisdiction.
Arrest for refusal to be "decontaminated"
If an individual is unable or unwilling to submit to decontamination or procedures necessary for diagnosis, the decontamination or diagnosis procedures may proceed only pursuant to an order of the superior court... During the time necessary to obtain such court order, such individual may be isolated or quarantined pursuant to section 96 of chapter 111 if his or her refusal to submit to decontamination or diagnosis procedures poses a serious danger to public health or results in uncertainty whether he or she has been exposed to or is infected with a disease or condition that poses a serious danger to public health.
Interrogation
When the commissioner or a local public health authority within its jurisdiction reasonably believes that a person may have been exposed to a disease or condition that poses a threat to the public health, in addition to their authority under section 96 of chapter 111, the commissioner or the local public health authority may detain the person for as long as may be reasonably necessary for the commissioner or the local public health authority, to convey information to the person regarding the disease or condition and to obtain contact information... If a person detained under subsection (1) refuses to provide the information requested, the person may be isolated or quarantined pursuant to section 96 of chapter 111 if his or her refusal poses a serious danger to public health...
Forced isolation and quarantine
An order for isolation or quarantine may include any individual who is unwilling or unable to undergo vaccination, precautionary prophylaxis, medical treatment, decontamination, medical examinations, tests, or specimen collection and whose refusal of one or more of these measures poses a serious danger to public health or results in uncertainty whether he or she has been exposed to or is infected with a disease or condition that poses a serious danger to public health.
Forced entry into any home or building...
There's a lot more in this bill, including language that allows Mass. police to enter any home or building without a search warrant, to destroy any object or building they suspect may pose a threat to public safety, to order the closing and / or decontamination of any facility using highly toxic chemical decontamination agents, and to arrest, detain and interrogate anyone who gets in their way.
Meanwhile, all state law enforcement and medical personnel are granted complete immunity from prosecution for their part in violating your Constitutional rights. So if they violate your right to due process, or they accidentally destroy your home, or they kill your family dog because they suspect it might be infected, you have absolutely zero recourse.
Under this bill, Massachusetts becomes a medical police state. There is no debating it. It's all written, clear as day, in this law: The citizens of Massachusetts will have no rights, period. The Constitution is ancient history. You are now the property of the State.
With thanks to Natural News
http://www.mass.gov/legis/bills/senate/186/st02pdf/st02028.pdf
The Bill has become Law. We are doomed.
First posted by myself in August at The Voice of the Resistance
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
For Chas and Dave
Kenny Everett does his best to introduce this.
Even though this is from 1982 the topics that he broaches are so topical.
Enjoy
Chas and Dave have just split up
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Traction Man
I had a long conversation with Traction Man today. He is in Traction and at an undisclosable hospital.
I have been asked to keep the rest to myself and I must honour that trust.
Please visit his blog and have a look at the food.
Henry Interviews Traction Man
I shall be interviewing Traction Man in person and providing food today.
Details to follow.
Whilst you are here please have a look round the blog
Details to follow.
Whilst you are here please have a look round the blog
Monday, September 21, 2009
The Cancer Research Cancer Profits Scam.
Click on image to enlarge.
The whole thing is a scam. All the cancer charities know that there is a cure.
Thats why they take your money and don't tell you.
If you don't believe me then this is a cautionary tale.
Ignaz Semmelwiess died in a lunatic asylum for trying to show that microbes existed and that hand washing prevented puerperal fever.
We all know that that is the case but they thought he was stark staring bonkers.
Open your mind.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Federal European Superstate.
The Truth About the European Union from Man Of The Woods on Vimeo.
Is this what you want?
Needs to be viewed.
This is a video lasting 45 minutes but please don't let the length deter you from viewing it. Every minute of it is worthwhile. Play it in the background while you browse.
How to get rid of the Pimple that is Baroness Scotland
Dont say you were not warned
Graphic Pizza image. A Must see Horror film.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
The Elephant in the Room
Be careful about lying to people you may be avoiding the elephant in the room but you will always be caught out.
Truth will out.
That is all
Hat tip Salty
This is the best cartoon I have seen in a long while.
Tortoise crosses M25
And survives.
Its almost like that famous Aesops fable: The tortoise and the hare.
Amazing.
The other thing is that the Tortoise is microchipped and from the USA so he has been dubbed Freeway.
Its almost like that famous Aesops fable: The tortoise and the hare.
Amazing.
The other thing is that the Tortoise is microchipped and from the USA so he has been dubbed Freeway.
Traction Man. The Downfall Video
Inspired by Traction man, Man Widdicombe made this Downfall Video.
You have to see this and Traction Man's blog
After all food in the NHS is causing malnutrition and this is just priceless.
You have to see this and Traction Man's blog
After all food in the NHS is causing malnutrition and this is just priceless.
Daniel Hannan's Message To The People of Ireland
Hat tip to the TVOTR
Ireland went through bloody struggles to gain independence, Why would you give it up to the EU less than a hundred years after you have achieved it?
This is what would happen if you voted Yes to the Lisbon Treaty. You would lose your independence. Ireland would lose its independence if you voted Yes to the Lisbon Treaty.
I can't imagine any Irishman wanting to voluntarily give up Irish sovereignty if so much blood has been shed in actually achieving it in the first place.
I travelled on Ryanscare last week and I saw that Michael O'Leary is urging everyone to vote Yes to Lisbon.
What a traitor to the Irish? How the hell can he say that when he is an Irishman from Eire which has gone through bloody revolution to have independence from the Brits and then turns round like a sheep and goes back to being a non independent country.
You fools!
Wake up! Say No to Lisbon. Do you really hate being independent so much?
Friday, September 18, 2009
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Gordon Brown urges EU to back new economic order
From the Grauniad stable (link to full article)
Gordon Brown and Barack Obama are ushering in the New World Order
This is in this morning's Guardian Newspaper. If anyone was uncertain about how the Bankers would soon be running countries then it is laid bare today.
This is no conspiracy theory any more, it has come to open attention and being announced by one of the leaders of the Western World, the prime minister of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland.
For years the dangerous questions were to whom are the governments of the world in debt to and if they are indebted to certain individuals surely those individuals who hold the purse strings dictate policies.
It was widely held by many people that the governments of the world were in hock to the Bankers... the people who lend the money out in the first place and now Gordon Brown has confirmed it.
I first heard about this in 2002. At the time I was sceptical and thought nah It can't be right, its all a load of tosh.
It has been the stark staring naked truth of the matter all this time and only now is the government being more open with us.
Most conspiracy theorists have been postulating this since the opening of the private Federal Reserve bank of the United States of America in 1913 sanctioned by the Federal reserve act ushered in by Woodrow Wilson. The Federal Reserve is still a private concern, and is part of the IMF.
It stands to reason therefore that the private individuals who own shares in the Federal Reserve will be able to dictate economic policy to the major economies of the world through their interest in the IMF and be able to have global power.
Now there's a thought for you all to ponder on.
Comments please....
Gordon Brown and Barack Obama are ushering in the New World Order
Gordon Brown last night urged EU leaders to back an audacious plan for a new system of world economic government in which the G20 and IMF would be empowered to tell major economies how they should tailor their national policies to secure sustainable international growth.
This is in this morning's Guardian Newspaper. If anyone was uncertain about how the Bankers would soon be running countries then it is laid bare today.
This is no conspiracy theory any more, it has come to open attention and being announced by one of the leaders of the Western World, the prime minister of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland.
For years the dangerous questions were to whom are the governments of the world in debt to and if they are indebted to certain individuals surely those individuals who hold the purse strings dictate policies.
It was widely held by many people that the governments of the world were in hock to the Bankers... the people who lend the money out in the first place and now Gordon Brown has confirmed it.
I first heard about this in 2002. At the time I was sceptical and thought nah It can't be right, its all a load of tosh.
It has been the stark staring naked truth of the matter all this time and only now is the government being more open with us.
Most conspiracy theorists have been postulating this since the opening of the private Federal Reserve bank of the United States of America in 1913 sanctioned by the Federal reserve act ushered in by Woodrow Wilson. The Federal Reserve is still a private concern, and is part of the IMF.
It stands to reason therefore that the private individuals who own shares in the Federal Reserve will be able to dictate economic policy to the major economies of the world through their interest in the IMF and be able to have global power.
Now there's a thought for you all to ponder on.
Comments please....
Monday, September 14, 2009
Your GP will be paid to inject you with the Swine flu vaccine
Ministers have agreed to pay doctors £5.25 per jab after weeks of talks.
Under the programme put forward, people with health conditions, such as heart disease and diabetes, pregnant women, those with weakened immune systems and frontline health and social care workers will be the first to receive the jab.
Madness!
Your GP is being financially induced to give "pregnant women" the jab
I have only one thing to say Thalidomide.
This vaccine has not been tested properly Who knows what could happen.
You pays your money you takes your choice. I for one will not be having this vaccination I would rather take my chances and bolster up my immune system with Vitamin D3
Under the programme put forward, people with health conditions, such as heart disease and diabetes, pregnant women, those with weakened immune systems and frontline health and social care workers will be the first to receive the jab.
Madness!
Your GP is being financially induced to give "pregnant women" the jab
I have only one thing to say Thalidomide.
This vaccine has not been tested properly Who knows what could happen.
You pays your money you takes your choice. I for one will not be having this vaccination I would rather take my chances and bolster up my immune system with Vitamin D3
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Monday, September 7, 2009
Thursday, September 3, 2009
New Edlington Update
The boys who were instrumental in inflicting serious injuries have appeared in court to give guilty pleas and another fact has come tumbling out.
They tried to get the two boys, uncle and nephew to commit sex acts upon each other.
Words cannot describe how sickening that is.
The Daily Mail goes in to sickening detail here
The Times runs stories about the attackers and about the actual story with a Sky video here
Sky news with all the videos here
We all know what will happen.
They will be sentenced to life and then when they are 18 they will be given new identities courtesy of the taxpayer much like the Bulger killers and let loose
What a crying shame.
They tried to get the two boys, uncle and nephew to commit sex acts upon each other.
Words cannot describe how sickening that is.
The Daily Mail goes in to sickening detail here
The Times runs stories about the attackers and about the actual story with a Sky video here
Sky news with all the videos here
We all know what will happen.
They will be sentenced to life and then when they are 18 they will be given new identities courtesy of the taxpayer much like the Bulger killers and let loose
What a crying shame.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Ayn Rand - Simpsons Fountainhead
Its a very concise form of the Fountainhead.
Its fabulous
Having just finished Atlas Shrugged it resonates.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Setting the people up to die: A conspiracy of silence about swine flu natural remedies by Mike Adams the Health Ranger
Setting the people up to die: A conspiracy of silence about swine flu natural remedies by Mike Adams the Health Ranger
Now anyone who heard me on Blog Talk radio should also have a look at this article.
Now anyone who heard me on Blog Talk radio should also have a look at this article.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
National Nutrition survey in Britain
The results can be found here
41% of the over sixty-five population who are in institutions, care homes, hospitals and the like are deficient in Vit D
There are vitamin deficiencies in Britain and that survey is almost 10 years old
If you spend most of your time in a car or a house or an office you will not have an optimum level of Vitamin D in your blood. There is a blood test for this.
41% of the over sixty-five population who are in institutions, care homes, hospitals and the like are deficient in Vit D
There are vitamin deficiencies in Britain and that survey is almost 10 years old
If you spend most of your time in a car or a house or an office you will not have an optimum level of Vitamin D in your blood. There is a blood test for this.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Autism and Mercury Poisoning
Click to enlarge
I've had to dig and dig this up but I finally found it
A table comparing Mercury poisoning symptoms and Autistic Spectrum disorders
If you expose your child to thimerosal containing vaccines there is a big chance that they will exhibit signs of mercury poisoning and be diagnosed with ADHD or autism.
Mercury is not good for nerves.
We are being poisoned and the new flu vaccine has thimerosal in it.
They want to vaccinate almost everyone.
It can also give you motor neurone disease.
Do not take the flu vaccine
I now understand why I had such bad diarrhoea following my vaccination in October I had it for 12 weeks. I had to go abroad and had vaccinations, and I felt like death for five months.
I feel sad that we are being poisoned by the very people who are supposed to be looking after us.
As for babies
Exposure to Mercury during the First Six Months via Human Milk and Vaccines: Modifying Risk Factors.
Article
American Journal of Perinatology. 24(7):387-400, July 2007.
Dorea, Jose G. Ph.D. 1
Abstract:
Breastfeeding is the best natural protection infants have against morbidity and mortality, and the development of safe and effective vaccines has made it possible to immunize children against infectious disease. Both of these mechanisms for ensuring good health in children may be compromised by contact with mercury (Hg). Maternal exposure to environmental Hg during pregnancy can predispose nursing children to neurodevelopmental disorders. Despite the World Health Organization assurance that thimerosal-preserved vaccines are safe to use in infants, the United States, the European Union, and dozens of other countries have eliminated thimerosal as a vaccine preservative and stopped the immunization of children with such vaccines. Because of the increase in environmental pollution and the need to produce cheap and safe vaccines, there is a need to address the uncertainty of vaccine-ethylmercury risk of toxicity and Hg exposure during breastfeeding.
Need I say more.
Rations MP on holiday in Lombok
Alan Duncan the man whose lawn was dug up, who invited the man who did it to the House of Commons is on holiday in Lombok with his partner.
In an exclusive resort, and paying at least £10000 for the holiday. No wonder he feels that he is on rations. Ever thought about living within your means and mixing with the little people Alan?
Oh that would never do would it? Can't possibly bump into a constituent on holiday It would mean that you couldn't escape from work. Being an MP isn't about shirking and avoiding your constituents its about working for them and being their representative 365 days of every year that they vote you in for.
Not to mention your carbon footprint for the whole trip. Not very green are we, yet your party is known as "progressive" Yeah and the rest. You don't fool me.
Actions speak louder than words ever can.
You sir are a disgrace.
Along with the other 642 members in the house who are just like you. There are a few exceptions.
After all you aren't needed anymore, everything is rubber stamped when it comes from the EU on high. If the masses ever found out you would be lynched.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
The Finns get even more draconian laws
Finland’s parliament is proposing a new gun law that would grant police the right to search and inspect people’s homes without a search warrant, Finnish news source Sunnuntaisuomalainen reported. The gun law proposal would let police search private property and homes without suspecting any crime. The gun law will also restrict licenses to members of shooting clubs.
There are over 670,000 people in Finland who hold a gun licence, which is about 12 percent of the entire nation’s population. Most gun owners claim this law is unconstitutional according to Sunnuntaisuomalainen. The bill is expected to be debated in the Finnish parliament during the autumn.
There are over 670,000 people in Finland who hold a gun licence, which is about 12 percent of the entire nation’s population. Most gun owners claim this law is unconstitutional according to Sunnuntaisuomalainen. The bill is expected to be debated in the Finnish parliament during the autumn.
Friday, August 21, 2009
Vitamin D to treat all this
Vitamin D is responsible for 10% of our genome
Link here Its fascinating.
Also take a look at this This author I have a lot of time for
http://www.globalresearch.ca/index.php?context=viewArticle&code=CHO20090819&articleId=14845
EDit
This link should back up anything I say It is really important
Link here Its fascinating.
Also take a look at this This author I have a lot of time for
http://www.globalresearch.ca/index.php?context=viewArticle&code=CHO20090819&articleId=14845
EDit
This link should back up anything I say It is really important
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Mercury is NOT good for kids
Mercury is what sent the Mad Hatter from Alice in Wonderland MAD
Hatters used to die from their occupational exposure to Mercury and yet here we are being told and being brainwashed that mercury is good?
Ignorance is Power
Freedom is Slavery
War is Peace
George Orwell should be spinning in his grave
Edit
This about Olanzapine and how Eli Lilly fool the doctors
Legal Immunity for Swine Flu Vaccine Manufacturers
Department of Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sibelius has not only given immunity to the makers of Tamiflu and Relenza for injuries stemming from their use against swine flu, she has granted immunity to future swine flu vaccines and “any associated adjuvants”.
The last time the government embarked on a major vaccine campaign against a new swine flu, thousands filed claims contending they suffered side effects from the shots. This time around, they will have no recourse.
The 2006 Public Readiness and Emergency Preparedness Act (the PREP Act) allows the DHHS Secretary to invoke almost complete immunity from liability for manufacturers of vaccines and drugs used to combat a declared public health emergency.
The PREP Act removes the right to a trial jury unless a plaintiff can provide clear evidence of willful misconduct that resulted in death or serious physical injury -- and gets permission to sue from the DHHS Secretary.
But once the PREP Act is invoked to shield manufacturers from liability, the pharmaceutical firms have no financial incentive to make the safest product, and have a negative incentive to test it for safety. As long as they do not deliberately harm consumers of the product, they will not be liable for damages.
Meanwhile, while the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention hoping to have 120 million doses of H1N1 swine flu virus vaccine ready before flu season this fall, some are raising concerns over what they see as an effort to rush the drug through safety trials.
The source of many of these concerns is the probability that the mercury-containing preservative thimerosal will be an ingredient in some of the doses of the new vaccine.
Groups opposed to current vaccination practices condemn thimerosal as a toxin responsible for the development of autism and related ailments in children. Additionally, the possibility that the swine flu vaccine could also contain an adjuvant, an ingredient that would allow more doses to be created from existing supplies of the vaccine, has also worried these groups.
From Dr Mercola
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Swine Flu or any Flu for that matter
Treatment
Vitamin D3 at doses of 2000-3000IU per day both as a prophylaxis and as a treatment
I will give you a cast iron guarantee of this.
But only at that dose. Nothing less. It will also work in Tuberculosis at a higher dose and possibly cure the common cold
High Cholesterol?
Vitamin B3 Niacin Modified release tablets. 1-2 grams at night.
IN the BNF and eminently prescribable by your doctor
DO NOT take a Statin
Also take Co enzyme Q 10 100mg-300mg and 1000mg Vitamin C twice daily and you will never have heart disease from fatty deposits.
Ignore me at your peril.
Most people on a western English diet are deficient in B and C vitamins.
Don't die of ignorance.
Vitamin D3 at doses of 2000-3000IU per day both as a prophylaxis and as a treatment
I will give you a cast iron guarantee of this.
But only at that dose. Nothing less. It will also work in Tuberculosis at a higher dose and possibly cure the common cold
High Cholesterol?
Vitamin B3 Niacin Modified release tablets. 1-2 grams at night.
IN the BNF and eminently prescribable by your doctor
DO NOT take a Statin
Also take Co enzyme Q 10 100mg-300mg and 1000mg Vitamin C twice daily and you will never have heart disease from fatty deposits.
Ignore me at your peril.
Most people on a western English diet are deficient in B and C vitamins.
Don't die of ignorance.
The truth about vaccines
A lot of you who read this blog are probably wondering why I dont give out health advice, or comment on health issues, If the werewolves are printing off this blog then maybe I shouldn't
But for those of you with an open and enquiring mind here is the following link
Read it and then do your research on google and see if you can destroy his arguments.
Facts are facts There were no widespread cancer cases or cancer clusters before vaccinations. There were no cancer epidemics in the early 1900s or we would have heard about them they would be written up in the medical literature much like the chimneysweepers and scrotal cancer.
I rest my case.
Occupational hazards and cancers have always gone together but now due to health and safety surely that shouldnt be happening anymore so why are there so many cancers still out there.
Ask questions, demand proper answers. Knowledge is power.
Still think Swine Flu Vaccination is a good idea?
But for those of you with an open and enquiring mind here is the following link
Read it and then do your research on google and see if you can destroy his arguments.
Facts are facts There were no widespread cancer cases or cancer clusters before vaccinations. There were no cancer epidemics in the early 1900s or we would have heard about them they would be written up in the medical literature much like the chimneysweepers and scrotal cancer.
I rest my case.
Occupational hazards and cancers have always gone together but now due to health and safety surely that shouldnt be happening anymore so why are there so many cancers still out there.
Ask questions, demand proper answers. Knowledge is power.
In experiments conducted during the 1970s and 80s, the prisoners were inoculated with flu vaccines containing genetically engineered viruses and mycoplasma . It is suspected that vaccines were being covertly developed and deployed as biological warfare weapons. Nobel prize winner James Watson, world famous for his discovery of the molecular structure of DNA and a leading researcher of the still ongoing Human Genome Project, was involved in these prison experiments.
Still think Swine Flu Vaccination is a good idea?
One World Government
Dear Treasured Friends,
Covering global meetings for ten years was a real milestone for me. Now, we have just completed our 11th year and are entering our 12th year. During the last 11 years, the world has vastly changed. My first book was Prince Charles the Sustainable Prince, which dealt with the role of Prince Charles and his behind-the-scenes role in making sure Agenda 21 was agreed to at the 1992 Rio "Earth Summit". At the heart of Agenda 21 is sustainable development, which is involved with reducing the population of the world through abortion, homosexuality (that lifestyle does not pro-create) and euthanasia. Plagues, viruses, wars, and natural disasters reduce the population as well. It appears that we are in the midst of increased plagues, viruses, wars, and natural disasters! Also, the prince has encouraged ways to change the structure of government through public-private partnerships. At the 60th General Assembly meeting of the United Nations, which was held in September, the programme of action highlighted both sustainable development and public-private partnership as being the two key pillars of its agenda today.
In 1994 when I first started covering global meetings, I did so because the United Nations was interested in floating the idea of global taxation. Eleven years later, the UN General Assembly approved the idea of a tax on airline tickets. France, I am told, recently announced it was adding a tax on every airline ticket sold in France. It was French president Jacques Chirac who called for a global tax on airline tickets at the January, 2005 World Economic Forum. He then called for a tax on airline tickets at the Gleneagles G8 meeting in July. I asked him what kind of taxation we could expect, if an airline tax went well and he told me that they had a number of forms of taxation planned. A global tax was also discussed by Frances Prime Minister, Dominique De Villepin at the UN. He told me that there were 66 countries that supported the idea.
What does a global tax signify? It signifies that there are no more barriers between the nation-states--that the countries of the world are now ONE. For a number of years, I have maintained that world government is not coming, IT IS. WE ARE IN WORLD GOVERNMENT. Little by little our freedoms are being reduced and altered. There are changes all around with regard to the structure of local government. Actually, it was President Nixon's Executive Order 11647 that divided the U.S. into 10 regions. He then appointed an administrator over each region who is directly accountable to him only. Over the years, the government has stripped the States of their Constitutional powers--States demand that their monies now be sent to Washington, so they can be sent back to the States that need them. Unfortunately, ELECTED government has no power, as the APPOINTED level of REGIONAL OR METROPOLITAN GOVERNMENTS are now receiving the tax monies that the States were suppose to get. When you consider the U.N. is appointed government, it all comes neatly together.
When I look at how fast things are moving, all I have to do is take a look at what I wrote in UN Watch! in the September/October, 2004 edition issued in January, 2005. At that time I wrote about the power of the British Commonwealth. At the international level, the Commonwealth organization, which is comprised of 54 British countries and former colonies, are allowed to operate inside the United Nations. As such, they have 38 potential votes at the Bank for International Settlements, 2 at the Group of Eight, 54 at the United Nations, 45 at the International Monetary Fund, 46 at the World Trade Organization, 44 at the World Bank and 13 in the Free Trade Areas of the Americas. When you look this hemisphere, Canada, the Bahamas, Guyana, and other countries are members of the Commonwealth. Even in our own hemisphere, we are out voted by 13 countries! For now, the only place where the U.S. is not outvoted is at the Security Council---that is until they change the composition. Countries, which are possible candidates for admission, include the following Commonwealth countries: Canada, Australia, New Zealand, India, Pakistan and Malaysia.
The combined November/December, 2004-January/February, 2005 issue was on the Reform of the United Nations. The world has moved from "common security" in which we all have a concern to one of "collective security", which basically says that all of the countries of the world have an obligation to come to the rescue of the people in a failed state, where they do not get the adequate treatment that they would in a non-failed state. Again, using humanitarianism as the core, it is no longer the state that matters but individuals--so much for the UN being a place where countries could come together to talk out their differences.
The next issue was on the "Growing Reach of the World Economic Forum." I have covered the World Economic Forum every year since 1998 with the exception of 1999. In my opinion, it equals the Bildebergers, as it is a forum where the
CEO's of the world can interact in political issues and even take part in them. Through public-private partnerships, the world has moved from individual nation-states into global corporate fascism, where corporations are now buying out governments. In this new structure, there is no representative government. In that issue, I went back 3 years and looked at the "inner core" of participants who are members of the Council on Foreign Relations-CFR, the Tri-Lateral Commission-TLC, the Royal Institute for International Affairs-RIIA, now called "The Chatham House", and the Prince of Wales International Business Leaders Forum, which also has connections with the London School of Economics.
The July/August through November/December, 2005 issue took a hard look at how natural disasters are being used to further integrate the countries of the world. It provided a very thorough analysis of the hurricanes in the Gulf States and addressed the question of planned and managed disasters as a way of economic benefit and gain.
Bottom-line--the above newsletters have described a very powerful global mafia that, basically, runs the world. What can "we the people" do? Knowledge has always been power. If you operate out of ignorance, you just might sell the family farm! Although the rich and powerful have always run the world, we are now seeing and identifying the forces that run the world in our time. Is this world government part of Biblical prophecy, where the world is going to "end"? I don't know. I do know that Jesus Christ was born in the middle of the world government of His time, which was called "Rome." There have been lots of other conquerors, who wanted to be king of the world. Napoleon was one of them. Who is the world dictator of our time? While we can identify those who are part of the world governmental structure as being member of the Bildebergers, CFR, and TLC, we need to go higher. In all my research, I find that there is another very powerful level of people: the international bankers which includes the Rothschilds, Kuhns, Loebs, etc. And, we must not leave out the world's royal families. But who in particular? I would have to point to Prince Charles. Now we must remember that his father, Prince Philip and Prince Bernhard (now deceased) of Holland, started the World Wildlife Fund, which has been instrumental in putting forth the value of the environment over the value of man. Who else? I don't know. This is as high as I can see or understand. Is there an occult power behind these people? I believe the answer is yes.
Beginning with the Garden of Eden, we have seen how Satan has usurped his power with the desire of becoming "King of the World". The evil side of man has never gone away. We live in a fallen world. However, in OUR time, the structure of the nation-state has been stripped away. At every turn, our government is passing laws that adhere to the international level of government. So, how do we live?
Again, if we have knowledge of things that are usurping our freedoms, it will allow us to make better decisions. I can tell you that the knowledge that I have gained on the international level has helped me tremendously with decisions that I have had to make and with how I invest client monies. When you understand this evil agenda, you will not have the rug pulled out from under you, and you will not be shocked, or at least as shocked, when you need to respond. Furthermore, this knowledge allows you to pray more effectively for your family, for the country, and for yourself. The Bible clearly tells us that it is the "effective and fervent prayers of a righteous man that avails much" James 5:16.
For those of you who received the June, 2005 letter, you read about the heartfelt encounter I had with Ukrainian president Victor Yushchenko. Only God could have provided the opportunity to touch his heart. At the UN60th General Assembly, Venezuelan president Victor Chavez gave a press briefing and God put it on my heart to tell him not to "judge the American people by Pat Robertson's heart." A colleague of mine said he was visibly touched. This hard hearted Marxist who probably has not known real love in his life, was touched by God in an unexpected way, in an unexpected place.
In the past year, I covered the World Economic Forum, the spring World Bank meeting, the Bank for International Settlements in Basel, Switzerland and the G8 meeting in Gleneagles, Scotland. While in England, I had three speaking engagements. I then spent a week at the UN in New York City. In addition to the UN related trips, I spoke three times in Louisiana and Mississippi. One of those times included explaining the whole agenda of world government to Judge Roy Moore. To be honest I don't know what kind of impact it had on him, since a number of his aides are more liberal and globalist in their beliefs than he is. I then spoke at Freedom 21's conference in Las Vegas and then at the Agri-Women's meeting in Monterrey, California. Lastly, I presented a paper on sustainable development at a conference on culture and diversity at Oral Roberts University. Finally, I was able to be present at was the arrival of Prince Charles and Camilla at the dinner given by the President and Mrs. Bush at the White House.
I have analyzed Prince Charles' speeches, given while in America. I was shocked at the information I learned. Furthermore, he and the Duchess went to New Orleans, where he announced that some of his people were at a planning meeting given by Mississippi Governor Haley Barber last month. The prince announced that they are all working on how to rebuild the area. Just recently someone called and told me that a woman from New Orleans who was testifying in front of a congressional commission on Katrina wanted to know why Prince Charles could buy a house in an area that she was told she cannot inhabit. These, indeed, are interesting days.
Over the years, it has been your support that has helped us do some of things that we have done. You have planted a seed in my ministry. I have tried to be faithful to God, to you and to the mandate, which I believe I have been given. I have seen how God has allowed me to touch two interesting world leaders this year and pray that I will have more opportunities in the future to be used in the life of world leaders. I cannot do that unless I am at the international level. The Women's Group has a credit card balance for 2005 which does not include the trips and conferences for 2006. In fact, the G8 will be held in Moscow for the first time. While I subsidize in many ways through my investment business, I rely on your kindness to help accomplish some of what has been described above. I basically am asking you to SEED into this ministry. If I pay for everything, then you do not have that opportunity. Please help us by ordering books and materials or by giving gifts which are tax deductible.
How will we live in a world in which the freedoms, which were given to us through the Bill of Rights and the Constitution, are being demolished? How will we respond, when our jobs are outsourced? How will we respond, when our children tell us that they are global citizens? How will we respond, when we are told that the elderly cannot produce and, therefore, cannot keep their space on planet Earth? How will we respond when they tell us that Christianity is out of date and old fashioned and that we have to pledge allegiance to a new global religion?
Most recently, I was on a farm program in which I discussed world government. A farmer called in and asked what my problem was. I told him that I did not have the problem, he did. The farmers are on the front-lines of loss of property rights and will lose the farm, when our government eliminates all of their subsidies and tariffs to come into compliance with the WTO. I told him it was time to get another tractor trailer parade to the Capitol and protest. Are we going to stick our heads in the sand and pretend that it is okay to take our property and our rights? Ask the people of New Orleans. In the testimony of Dyan French-Cole who is from New Orleans, she told a Congressional panel the following:
I live in America, ya all. I am free. Does that sound strange to anybody in 2005? I hope not. I have lived through thousands of hurricanes. Why are we so excited about hurricanes. Katrina didn't do this. The "isms" of America did this. [Those isms say] we need more money. Please, someone order up more paper with ink on it and put denominations on it. Is it really going to be about this--capitalism? My neighbors want some answers. They want to know where the children are. What insane group of people separated our children from parents? Where are the deceased? The first person accused of looting was looking for his son. They want to know where our rights as Americans are. Are these folk coming to fix us? We want to know why we [America] can go to the tsunami and to New York and get things straight, but why we can't get it straight in New Orleans? They want to know that how is it that we created some agency to buy our land because it is not good enough and that they can do something to it and make it good enough to sell back to us? What kind of insanity is that? It is almost like [what] Christopher Columbus [did to the Indian-owned land]. I own it, but why do I have to sell it to someone at slave wages? My house is not for sale. Please let whoever these people are know that New Orleans is not for sale. We are not going to give up our property. Who comes to rescue with guns instead of life vests? No supplies-- nothing to help the handicap? Why is it mandatory that we leave-at gunpoint? That is not America. What are we doing here? One of the problems is that Mr. Trump came months ago and has decided that he wants Padres Street. Prince Charles, [wants to buy] property on the street where my independent living mentally ill community is- where they say I need to wear a mask? Why is Prince Charles trying to buy a house in New Orleans that you all say[should not exist]. It isn't making sense. Will someone explain it to me. Why were we held hostage and not allowed to rescue our people?
In the Katrina paper I wrote, I discussed that I felt New Orleans would be set up as a sustainable city-with regional government and funded through public-private partnerships. It appears that I am right. This lady's testimony just confirmed my suspicions. Is New Orleans the US model for sustainable development for the rest of the U.S. and for third world countries? When will it be your turn or mine? Take prime land, move the owners off and then let the casinos and the luxury hotels buy the land at a rock bottom prices with the promise of paying higher real estate tax and proving jobs. That is exactly what happened in the Kelo vs. New London where the Supreme Court ruled that the city has the right to use eminent domain to force the highest and best use of property that would create jobs and increase revenue. This breaches the sacredness of personal property rights as they are now subject to the highest bidder-the isms.
The stricken tsunami South Seas countries have already experienced this. The people were moved off their beach front property and are now in camps. Knowledge is power. I am not getting my information from some hear-say. I am going to the source. How do we combat world government? By using their words and information against them. By giving our friends/neighbors/relatives documents, videos, and articles that can explain the danger and threat to freedom. While I recognize this has been a year in which there are many good causes competing for your monies. Please consider seriously the value of knowledge.
Joan Veon is an independent international reporter and a businesswoman. In 1994, she covered her first United Nations conference with the idea that it would be the only one. Now, 13 years later and 90 other meetings, she has interviewed and queried the world's movers and shakers, presidents and prime ministers, key eminent economists, CEOs and leaders in the United Nations from the Secretary-General on down. She has covered economic (Bank for International Settlements, G7, World Economic Forum), trade (World Trade Organization), UN (mega-conferences and General Assembly), regional (Free Trade Areas of the Americas), military (NATO 50th), environmental, International Criminal Court, and many others. She has written two books: Prince Charles the Sustainable Prince and The United Nations' Global Straitjacket. Joan also writes two economic newsletters. Please visit: http://www.womensgroup.org
The article above was written in 2007
See if it resonates with you.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
The NHS
If you have to build a motorway where there is a busy road then there are bound to be delays. Especially as the other road is a toll B road and there are only two roads to better health Paying or NHS which is paying from your wage packet using NI. Bit like road taxes and petrol.
The NHS is a dual carriage way which is clogged up Some things move faster than others, bicycles, motorbikes but Vans, lorries and cars are all snarled up and take an age to move, and they take up more petrol.
This all costs money
Whilst we accept that things are not great we are proposing a ten lane highway but in the mean time we will build an A road which is a toll road at the side whilst we plan the motorway.
Anyone who wants to pay to use that road to get to their health back to normal is welcome to use it.
Pay the toll
In the mean time we will start building the five lanes on each side so that all the traffic can move more efficiently.
But its not going to happen over night and it will save petrol in the future, you might save enough even to use the toll road with no problems and then we will upgrade the toll road to a dual carriage way purely for cars and motorbikes.
This is all going to take time planning and effort but would you rather that the old carriage way remains and no work is done but more petrol is made available?
Think about this clearly
You can throw money at the problem and the cars will still reach their destination but ever so slowly or you can take some decisive action and finally get the system working so well that you will wonder why you ever put up with the old dual carriageway.
A modern metaphor for our times.
The NHS is a dual carriage way which is clogged up Some things move faster than others, bicycles, motorbikes but Vans, lorries and cars are all snarled up and take an age to move, and they take up more petrol.
This all costs money
Whilst we accept that things are not great we are proposing a ten lane highway but in the mean time we will build an A road which is a toll road at the side whilst we plan the motorway.
Anyone who wants to pay to use that road to get to their health back to normal is welcome to use it.
Pay the toll
In the mean time we will start building the five lanes on each side so that all the traffic can move more efficiently.
But its not going to happen over night and it will save petrol in the future, you might save enough even to use the toll road with no problems and then we will upgrade the toll road to a dual carriage way purely for cars and motorbikes.
This is all going to take time planning and effort but would you rather that the old carriage way remains and no work is done but more petrol is made available?
Think about this clearly
You can throw money at the problem and the cars will still reach their destination but ever so slowly or you can take some decisive action and finally get the system working so well that you will wonder why you ever put up with the old dual carriageway.
A modern metaphor for our times.
Monday, August 17, 2009
The Time Trave(l)ler's Wife
Film Review:
Having never read the book and wanted to many times, but never got round to it I was really going to go see this film. I sensed that much of it fell on the cutting room floor as there were painful gaps in it, but then again I have this thing about long films.
The first thing I noticed is that they used the American spelling for Traveller.
The actors and actresses are pretty, but the story is very bare in the film
Eric Bana is gorgeous though.
I won't spoil it if you havent seen it,but I felt it was too short. Bring back a 4 hour film with a 20 minute intermission and get some books properly done into films.
Having never read the book and wanted to many times, but never got round to it I was really going to go see this film. I sensed that much of it fell on the cutting room floor as there were painful gaps in it, but then again I have this thing about long films.
The first thing I noticed is that they used the American spelling for Traveller.
The actors and actresses are pretty, but the story is very bare in the film
Eric Bana is gorgeous though.
I won't spoil it if you havent seen it,but I felt it was too short. Bring back a 4 hour film with a 20 minute intermission and get some books properly done into films.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Famous Quotes (10)
In the words of Polly Toynbee's father, Arnold Toynbee
"I suspect that a worldwide totalitarian movement of the communist-fascist kind may overthrow existing institutions - including local sovereignty, political democracy, economic private enterprise -
and at the eleventh hour some such worldwide totalitarian movement will stabilise human affairs by taking such drastic actions in which indespenable fundamental reforms will be intertwined with atrocious acts of injustice"
Sounds familiar but he wrote this in the 1960s
"I suspect that a worldwide totalitarian movement of the communist-fascist kind may overthrow existing institutions - including local sovereignty, political democracy, economic private enterprise -
and at the eleventh hour some such worldwide totalitarian movement will stabilise human affairs by taking such drastic actions in which indespenable fundamental reforms will be intertwined with atrocious acts of injustice"
Sounds familiar but he wrote this in the 1960s
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Anna Raccoon is Back
And she is better than ever
More incisive and more pointed than before
You need to get over there now
Anna Raccoon For responsible Raccoontage
More incisive and more pointed than before
You need to get over there now
Anna Raccoon For responsible Raccoontage
Friday, August 14, 2009
Election Carol
On the first day of Parliament
my expenses paid to me:
A house in my constituency
On the second day of Parliament
my expenses paid to me:
Two adult films
and a house in my constituency
On the third day of Parliament
my expenses paid to me:
Three rattan bins
Two adult films
and a house in my constituency
On the fourth day of Parliament
my expenses paid to me:
Four breakfast knifes
Three rattan bins
Two adult films
and a house in my constituency
On the fifth day of Parliament
my expenses paid to me:
Five varnish coats
Four breakfast knifes
Three rattan bins
Two adult films
and a house in my constituency
On the sixth day of Parliament
my expenses paid to me:
Six homes a flipping
Five varnish coats
Four breakfast knifes
Three rattan bins
Two adult films
and a house in my constituency
On the seventh day of Parliament
my true love sent to me:
Seven hundred pound telly
Six homes a flipping
Five varnish coats
Four breakfast knifes
Three rattan bins
Two adult films
and a house in my constituency
On the eighth day of Parliament
my true love sent to me:
Eight nice new chairs
Seven hundred pound telly
Six homes a flipping
Five varnish coats
Four breakfast knifes
Three rattan bins
Two adult films
and a house in my constituency
On the ninth day of Parliament
my true love sent to me:
Nine grand stamp duty
Eight nice new chairs
Seven hundred pound telly
Six homes a flipping
Five varnish coats
Four breakfast knifes
Three rattan bins
Two adult films
and a house in my constituency
On the tenth day of Parliament
my true love sent to me:
Ten sets of bed linen
Nine grand stamp duty
Eight nice new chairs
Seven hundred pound telly
Six homes a flipping
Five varnish coats
Four breakfast knifes
Three rattan bins
Two adult films
and a house in my constituency
On the eleventh day of Parliament
my true love sent to me:
Eleven pounds of washing up liquid
Ten sets of bed linen
Nine grand stamp duty
Eight nice new chairs
Seven hundred pound telly
Six homes a flipping
Five varnish coats
Four breakfast knifes
Three rattan bins
Two adult films
and a house in my constituency
On the twelfth day of Parliament
my true love sent to me:
12 wine glasses
Eleven pounds of washing up liquid
Ten sets of bed linen
Nine grand stamp duty
Eight nice new chairs
Seven hundred pound telly
Six homes a flipping
Five varnish coats
Four breakfast knifes
Three rattan bins
Two adult films
and a house in my constituency
my expenses paid to me:
A house in my constituency
On the second day of Parliament
my expenses paid to me:
Two adult films
and a house in my constituency
On the third day of Parliament
my expenses paid to me:
Three rattan bins
Two adult films
and a house in my constituency
On the fourth day of Parliament
my expenses paid to me:
Four breakfast knifes
Three rattan bins
Two adult films
and a house in my constituency
On the fifth day of Parliament
my expenses paid to me:
Five varnish coats
Four breakfast knifes
Three rattan bins
Two adult films
and a house in my constituency
On the sixth day of Parliament
my expenses paid to me:
Six homes a flipping
Five varnish coats
Four breakfast knifes
Three rattan bins
Two adult films
and a house in my constituency
On the seventh day of Parliament
my true love sent to me:
Seven hundred pound telly
Six homes a flipping
Five varnish coats
Four breakfast knifes
Three rattan bins
Two adult films
and a house in my constituency
On the eighth day of Parliament
my true love sent to me:
Eight nice new chairs
Seven hundred pound telly
Six homes a flipping
Five varnish coats
Four breakfast knifes
Three rattan bins
Two adult films
and a house in my constituency
On the ninth day of Parliament
my true love sent to me:
Nine grand stamp duty
Eight nice new chairs
Seven hundred pound telly
Six homes a flipping
Five varnish coats
Four breakfast knifes
Three rattan bins
Two adult films
and a house in my constituency
On the tenth day of Parliament
my true love sent to me:
Ten sets of bed linen
Nine grand stamp duty
Eight nice new chairs
Seven hundred pound telly
Six homes a flipping
Five varnish coats
Four breakfast knifes
Three rattan bins
Two adult films
and a house in my constituency
On the eleventh day of Parliament
my true love sent to me:
Eleven pounds of washing up liquid
Ten sets of bed linen
Nine grand stamp duty
Eight nice new chairs
Seven hundred pound telly
Six homes a flipping
Five varnish coats
Four breakfast knifes
Three rattan bins
Two adult films
and a house in my constituency
On the twelfth day of Parliament
my true love sent to me:
12 wine glasses
Eleven pounds of washing up liquid
Ten sets of bed linen
Nine grand stamp duty
Eight nice new chairs
Seven hundred pound telly
Six homes a flipping
Five varnish coats
Four breakfast knifes
Three rattan bins
Two adult films
and a house in my constituency
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
As seen in the Guardian
To pee, or not to pee: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous pissing,
Or to take a shower against a sea of urine,
And by opposing end the urge? To pee: to piss;
No more aching; and by micturating to say wee end
That ache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To pee to piss;
To piddle: perchance to dream of a golden shower:
ay, there's the rub;
from here
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous pissing,
Or to take a shower against a sea of urine,
And by opposing end the urge? To pee: to piss;
No more aching; and by micturating to say wee end
That ache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To pee to piss;
To piddle: perchance to dream of a golden shower:
ay, there's the rub;
from here
Divide and Conquer
I havent been writing much Ive been snared at work with a rather demanding computer system but Leg Iron in Underdogs write upwards has a beautiful post that I think that if you do nothing else today you must as a point of necessity read in its entirety.
Link here
Link here
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
One law for them...
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Prophecy Fisking
Three times shall lovely sunny France Be led to play a bloody dance Before the people shall be free Three tyrant rulers shall she see.
Three rulers in succession be Each springs from different dynasty. Then when the fiercest strife is done England and France shall be as one.
The British olive shall next then twine In marriage with a german vine. Men walk beneath and over streams Fulfilled shall be their wondrous dreams.
The Channel Tunnel...., the European Union between Germany France and the Brits
For in those wondrous far off days The women shall adopt a craze To dress like men, and trousers wear And to cut off their locks of hair They'll ride astride with brazen brow As witches do on broomstick now.
Women on Motorbikes
And roaring monsters with man atop Does seem to eat the verdant crop
Combine harvesters....
And men shall fly as birds do now And give away the horse and plough.
aeroplanes, farm machinery
There'll be a sign for all to see Be sure that it will certain be. Then love shall die and marriage cease And nations wane as babes decrease
The low birth rate in Europe...
And wives shall fondle cats and dogs And men live much the same as hogs.
Rise of the single family unit...
In nineteen hundred and twenty six Build houses light of straw and sticks. For then shall mighty wars be planned And fire and sword shall sweep the land.
supposedly the 1st world war, remember though the calendar had been messed with in gregorian times.
When pictures seem alive with movements free When boats like fishes swim beneath the sea, When men like birds shall scour the sky Then half the world, deep drenched in blood shall die.
Submarines, aeroplanes, Half the world? Not yet...
For those who live the century through In fear and trembling this shall do. Flee to the mountains and the dens To bog and forest and wild fens.
One century later.
For storms will rage and oceans roar When Gabriel stands on sea and shore And as he blows his wondrous horn Old worlds die and new be born.
A fiery dragon will cross the sky Six times before this earth shall die Mankind will tremble and frightened be for the sixth heralds in this prophecy.
Spaceship? Comet?
For seven days and seven nights Man will watch this awesome sight. The tides will rise beyond their ken To bite away the shores and then The mountains will begin to roar And earthquakes split the plain to shore.
Tides will be affected
And flooding waters, rushing in Will flood the lands with such a din That mankind cowers in muddy fen And snarls about his fellow men.
He bares his teeth and fights and kills And secrets food in secret hills And ugly in his fear, he lies To kill marauders, thieves and spies.
Man flees in terror from the floods And kills, and rapes and lies in blood And spilling blood by mankinds hands Will stain and bitter many lands
And when the dragon's tail is gone, Man forgets, and smiles, and carries on To apply himself - too late, too late For mankind has earned deserved fate.
His masked smile - his false grandeur, Will serve the Gods their anger stir. And they will send the Dragon back To light the sky - his tail will crack Upon the earth and rend the earth And man shall flee, King, Lord, and serf.
But slowly they are routed out To seek diminishing water spout And men will die of thirst before The oceans rise to mount the shore.
And lands will crack and rend anew You think it strange. It will come true.
And in some far off distant land Some men - oh such a tiny band Will have to leave their solid mount And span the earth, those few to count, Who survives this (unreadable) and then Begin the human race again.
But not on land already there But on ocean beds, stark, dry and bare Not every soul on Earth will die As the Dragons tail goes sweeping by.
Not every land on earth will sink But these will wallow in stench and stink Of rotting bodies of beast and man Of vegetation crisped on land.
But the land that rises from the sea Will be dry and clean and soft and free Of mankinds dirt and therefore be The source of man's new dynasty.
And those that live will ever fear The dragons tail for many year But time erases memory You think it strange. But it will be.
And before the race is built anew A silver serpent comes to view And spew out men of like unknown To mingle with the earth now grown Cold from its heat and these men can Enlighten the minds of future man.
To intermingle and show them how To live and love and thus endow The children with the second sight. A natural thing so that they might Grow graceful, humble and when they do The Golden Age will start anew.
The dragon's tail is but a sign For mankind's fall and man's decline. And before this prophecy is done I shall be burned at the stake, at one My body singed and my soul set free You think I utter blasphemy You're wrong. These things have come to me This prophecy will come to be.
Mother Shiptons prophecy
Three rulers in succession be Each springs from different dynasty. Then when the fiercest strife is done England and France shall be as one.
The British olive shall next then twine In marriage with a german vine. Men walk beneath and over streams Fulfilled shall be their wondrous dreams.
The Channel Tunnel...., the European Union between Germany France and the Brits
For in those wondrous far off days The women shall adopt a craze To dress like men, and trousers wear And to cut off their locks of hair They'll ride astride with brazen brow As witches do on broomstick now.
Women on Motorbikes
And roaring monsters with man atop Does seem to eat the verdant crop
Combine harvesters....
And men shall fly as birds do now And give away the horse and plough.
aeroplanes, farm machinery
There'll be a sign for all to see Be sure that it will certain be. Then love shall die and marriage cease And nations wane as babes decrease
The low birth rate in Europe...
And wives shall fondle cats and dogs And men live much the same as hogs.
Rise of the single family unit...
In nineteen hundred and twenty six Build houses light of straw and sticks. For then shall mighty wars be planned And fire and sword shall sweep the land.
supposedly the 1st world war, remember though the calendar had been messed with in gregorian times.
When pictures seem alive with movements free When boats like fishes swim beneath the sea, When men like birds shall scour the sky Then half the world, deep drenched in blood shall die.
Submarines, aeroplanes, Half the world? Not yet...
For those who live the century through In fear and trembling this shall do. Flee to the mountains and the dens To bog and forest and wild fens.
One century later.
For storms will rage and oceans roar When Gabriel stands on sea and shore And as he blows his wondrous horn Old worlds die and new be born.
A fiery dragon will cross the sky Six times before this earth shall die Mankind will tremble and frightened be for the sixth heralds in this prophecy.
Spaceship? Comet?
For seven days and seven nights Man will watch this awesome sight. The tides will rise beyond their ken To bite away the shores and then The mountains will begin to roar And earthquakes split the plain to shore.
Tides will be affected
And flooding waters, rushing in Will flood the lands with such a din That mankind cowers in muddy fen And snarls about his fellow men.
He bares his teeth and fights and kills And secrets food in secret hills And ugly in his fear, he lies To kill marauders, thieves and spies.
Man flees in terror from the floods And kills, and rapes and lies in blood And spilling blood by mankinds hands Will stain and bitter many lands
And when the dragon's tail is gone, Man forgets, and smiles, and carries on To apply himself - too late, too late For mankind has earned deserved fate.
His masked smile - his false grandeur, Will serve the Gods their anger stir. And they will send the Dragon back To light the sky - his tail will crack Upon the earth and rend the earth And man shall flee, King, Lord, and serf.
But slowly they are routed out To seek diminishing water spout And men will die of thirst before The oceans rise to mount the shore.
And lands will crack and rend anew You think it strange. It will come true.
And in some far off distant land Some men - oh such a tiny band Will have to leave their solid mount And span the earth, those few to count, Who survives this (unreadable) and then Begin the human race again.
But not on land already there But on ocean beds, stark, dry and bare Not every soul on Earth will die As the Dragons tail goes sweeping by.
Not every land on earth will sink But these will wallow in stench and stink Of rotting bodies of beast and man Of vegetation crisped on land.
But the land that rises from the sea Will be dry and clean and soft and free Of mankinds dirt and therefore be The source of man's new dynasty.
And those that live will ever fear The dragons tail for many year But time erases memory You think it strange. But it will be.
And before the race is built anew A silver serpent comes to view And spew out men of like unknown To mingle with the earth now grown Cold from its heat and these men can Enlighten the minds of future man.
To intermingle and show them how To live and love and thus endow The children with the second sight. A natural thing so that they might Grow graceful, humble and when they do The Golden Age will start anew.
The dragon's tail is but a sign For mankind's fall and man's decline. And before this prophecy is done I shall be burned at the stake, at one My body singed and my soul set free You think I utter blasphemy You're wrong. These things have come to me This prophecy will come to be.
Mother Shiptons prophecy
Monday, August 3, 2009
Sunday, August 2, 2009
The Silence of the Rands
From our guest blogger Juliette
Well, I concede defeat. In the space of a mere 75 pages, my hatred for the mind-blowingly cold, humourless, conceited and unlikeable Dagny Taggart has grown to truly alarming levels. In fact, it's actually come to exceed the contempt I have for for Polly Toynbee. And if you're a regular reader, you'll know that's really, really saying something.
In fact, the only way I'm ever going to get any pleasure out of this book is if she meets an untimely end at the hands of a particularly twisted serial killer.
As this seems somewhat unlikely - after all, she's supposed to be the god damn heroine - I've put the book aside in disgust. Well, at least it might come in handy for squashing spiders.
However, a girl can dream. So here's a brief outline of how I'd like the book to go from this point onwards...
THE SILENCE OF THE RANDS
by Juliette
'Who is John Galt?'
The words took Clarice Starling by surprise as she stepped into Crawford's office. The distinguished looking grey haired man was sitting behind his desk, apparently deep in thought, and had spoken almost offhandedly. She struggled to retain her composure and think on her feet. His good opinion meant a lot to her. Perhaps more than it should. And of course, she already knew the answer to his question. As did every trainee at the FBI.
'John Galt - it's the name we're giving to the new serial killer, sir. The one who's killed eight people in the last six months. Four men, four women. He cuts off their skin - that's his trademark. And we're still no closer to finding him.'
Crawford smiled slightly, as if impressed by her speed and alertness of mind.
'And what do the victims have in common?'
'They're all obnoxious, sir.' Clarice spoke with more confidence now, sure of her subject. 'He's targeting arrogant humourless rich assholes who think they're God because they've made a few quid ripping off gullible idiots. Already, he's claimed the lives of Simon Cowell, Piers Morgan, Mark Thatcher and Jeffrey Archer. And although we haven't found a body, Craig David was reported missing last week.'
'Very good,' Crawford said warmly. Something darkened in his eyes as he spoke again. 'Clarice - I have an assignment for you. I must warn you, it's dangerous and it's difficult. But it could help us catch this man. Have you heard of Hannibal Lecter?'
Something cold ran up the back of Clarice's neck.
'Hannibal the cannibal,' she said quietly.
Crawford nodded slightly.
'He's a psychopath. but he's a brilliant mind. And with our investigation having reached a dead end, this man is our only hope. Go to him, Clarice. For my sake. Ask him about John Galt.'
*
In The Sunnyvale Home for Homicidal Maniacs, a long echoing corridor extended before Clarice. An expressionless turnkey opened a heavily barred door to let her through.
'Don't get too close to any of the cells,' he warned her tersely. 'Stay in the middle.'
She nodded numbly. Then she began walking down the corridor, tiny and alone. Insane, twisted faces appeared at the bars on either side of her, as she passed the psychopaths' cells. Snatches of sentences drifted to reach her, hissed and gibbered from the lunatics' twisted mouths.
'Actually, I'm going to vote for Gordon Brown at the next election -'
'I think Katie Price came across really well in that ITV interview -'
'Well I think Noirin was really sweet, it's not her fault those weirdos all fancied her on Big Brother -'
A chill ran up her back, and she quickened her pace. The words implied a depth of insanity that made the ground open up before her feet. She desperately wanted to turn back, but forced herself to walk on, approaching the cell at the end. A man was standing in the middle of the cell with his back to her. He made no move of recognition, and she could not tell whether he had heard her footsteps approaching. She forced herself to speak confidently, and not to let her voice falter.
'Doctor Lecter?'
He turned slowly at the sound of her voice. His eyes were dark red and oddly reptilian.
'Who is John Galt?'
Clarice took a step back, unable to help herself.
'How did you know I was going to ask you that?'
'Crawford sent you, didn't he? Because you're still no closer to catching Mr John Galt. I gather that Craig David may be his newest victim. What a bad boy he is.'
'Doctor Lecter - help me,' Clarice burst out impulsively. 'Even as we speak, another rich obnoxious entitled asshole may be facing certain death. You understand John Galt, don't you? Who is he? Who is he, and why is he doing this?'
'First, tell me something in exchange, Clarice. Quid pro quo.'
She stared at him. The dark red eyes stared back at her. A moment of pure electricity passed between them. She felt herself blushing slightly. For a murderous cannibal nutjob, he was kind of cute.
'What - what do you want to know?'
His voice was soft, implacable. 'What did you dream of last night, Clarice?'
'It - it was - it was a bad dream I sometimes have. A memory from childhood.'
Silence pressed in around them for long seconds. Finally, she spoke again, as if hypnotised or drugged.
'When I was young, we lived on a farm. There was a family who lived next door to us. They were called the Rands. God, they were weirdos. Fanatically right wing Russian fruit-loop neocons, with the most fucked up ideas about life, sex and the universe you ever imagined. They were all butt ugly, and wore more gold jewellery than Mr T, and looked like they'd just stepped off a Nazi propaganda poster. Someone ought to have banned them under the Race Relations act.'
In her mind, Clarice was remembering those strange, hauntingly ugly faces. A family that could have turned Julie Burchill into a raving anti-semite within minutes of meeting them. Cold sweat had broken out on her forehead. Suddenly she was no longer in the Sunnyvale Home for Homicidal Maniacs. She was ten years old and walking alone across dark fields. Hearing the deafening, discordant sound of the unthinkable.
'One night, I was coming home from the barn when I heard voices coming from the Rands' house. They were screaming that their daughter Ayn had just got a fuck off six figure book deal despite being incapable of writing a realistic or sympathetic character if her life depended on it. It was the most terrible sound I ever heard in my life. And that's what I hear at night, Doctor Lecter. I hear thse Rands, screaming, near the barn...'
*
'Who is John Galt? It's the name police are giving to the serial killer who has been terrorising obnoxious rich assholes across America...'
Dagny Taggart sighed impatiently, turned off the news and put on a CD. She did so with the rare speed and deftness which characterised everything she did. Ever since she had been a small child, Dagny Taggart had had a rare ability to put on CDs. While other children fumbled and dropped the silvery discs, she had always been able to manipulate them with an effortless fluid dexterity that was almost godlike. Really, it was amazing how much better she was than everyone else. The song came on immediately.
'She's an American girl...'
She sang along to the music as she drove on through the night. Dagny Taggart had a rare ability to sing harmoniously, and had done ever since she was a small child. It was little wonder she had so effortlessly ascended the ranks at her father's company, in a series of promotions that had absolutely nothing to do with nepotism and she'd sack anyone who said any different. Dagny Taggart had a rare ability to sack anyone who said any different, and had done ever since she was a small child.
Parking outside her apartment block, she got out of her car. There was nobody in sight except a man on crutches, laboriously attempting to get a cumbersome piece of furniture into the back of a van. Dagny stepped towards him. She owed it to the small irrelevant people around her, to assist them in endeavours that came so hard to them and so effortlessly to her. Dagny Taggart had a rare ability to get cumbersome pieces of furniture into the back of a van, and had done ever since she was a small child.
'Do you need any help, lesser mortal?'
'Thank you. That would be very kind.'
His voice was mumbling and strange. She barely noticed, intent as she was on getting the cumbersome bit of furniture into the back of the van, with the single minded determination which characterised everything she did. As she climbed into the back of the van to pull it in, she noticed the stranger stepping towards her. Dagny Taggart had a rare ability to notice strangers stepping towards her, and had done ever since she was a small child.
'Are you an obnoxious rich asshole?'
She stared at him in confusion, the words only beginning to sink into her mind. Then, as the chloroform soaked pad pressed down over her face, the truth hit her with the power and speed of a sledgehammer.
Oh my God, Dagny Taggart thought starkly. It's John Galt.
Then there was nothing but a featureless field of grey.
(To be continued. Maybe. If anyone gives a fuck. Let's face it, if you've never read Atlas Shrugged AND Silence of the Lambs, this parody will mean cock all to you. So I'm basically speaking to about three people. Hope you're all having a good weekend anyway...)
J x
Editorial note
This was really funny when I read it last night, which is why I have to post it.
Well, I concede defeat. In the space of a mere 75 pages, my hatred for the mind-blowingly cold, humourless, conceited and unlikeable Dagny Taggart has grown to truly alarming levels. In fact, it's actually come to exceed the contempt I have for for Polly Toynbee. And if you're a regular reader, you'll know that's really, really saying something.
In fact, the only way I'm ever going to get any pleasure out of this book is if she meets an untimely end at the hands of a particularly twisted serial killer.
As this seems somewhat unlikely - after all, she's supposed to be the god damn heroine - I've put the book aside in disgust. Well, at least it might come in handy for squashing spiders.
However, a girl can dream. So here's a brief outline of how I'd like the book to go from this point onwards...
THE SILENCE OF THE RANDS
by Juliette
'Who is John Galt?'
The words took Clarice Starling by surprise as she stepped into Crawford's office. The distinguished looking grey haired man was sitting behind his desk, apparently deep in thought, and had spoken almost offhandedly. She struggled to retain her composure and think on her feet. His good opinion meant a lot to her. Perhaps more than it should. And of course, she already knew the answer to his question. As did every trainee at the FBI.
'John Galt - it's the name we're giving to the new serial killer, sir. The one who's killed eight people in the last six months. Four men, four women. He cuts off their skin - that's his trademark. And we're still no closer to finding him.'
Crawford smiled slightly, as if impressed by her speed and alertness of mind.
'And what do the victims have in common?'
'They're all obnoxious, sir.' Clarice spoke with more confidence now, sure of her subject. 'He's targeting arrogant humourless rich assholes who think they're God because they've made a few quid ripping off gullible idiots. Already, he's claimed the lives of Simon Cowell, Piers Morgan, Mark Thatcher and Jeffrey Archer. And although we haven't found a body, Craig David was reported missing last week.'
'Very good,' Crawford said warmly. Something darkened in his eyes as he spoke again. 'Clarice - I have an assignment for you. I must warn you, it's dangerous and it's difficult. But it could help us catch this man. Have you heard of Hannibal Lecter?'
Something cold ran up the back of Clarice's neck.
'Hannibal the cannibal,' she said quietly.
Crawford nodded slightly.
'He's a psychopath. but he's a brilliant mind. And with our investigation having reached a dead end, this man is our only hope. Go to him, Clarice. For my sake. Ask him about John Galt.'
*
In The Sunnyvale Home for Homicidal Maniacs, a long echoing corridor extended before Clarice. An expressionless turnkey opened a heavily barred door to let her through.
'Don't get too close to any of the cells,' he warned her tersely. 'Stay in the middle.'
She nodded numbly. Then she began walking down the corridor, tiny and alone. Insane, twisted faces appeared at the bars on either side of her, as she passed the psychopaths' cells. Snatches of sentences drifted to reach her, hissed and gibbered from the lunatics' twisted mouths.
'Actually, I'm going to vote for Gordon Brown at the next election -'
'I think Katie Price came across really well in that ITV interview -'
'Well I think Noirin was really sweet, it's not her fault those weirdos all fancied her on Big Brother -'
A chill ran up her back, and she quickened her pace. The words implied a depth of insanity that made the ground open up before her feet. She desperately wanted to turn back, but forced herself to walk on, approaching the cell at the end. A man was standing in the middle of the cell with his back to her. He made no move of recognition, and she could not tell whether he had heard her footsteps approaching. She forced herself to speak confidently, and not to let her voice falter.
'Doctor Lecter?'
He turned slowly at the sound of her voice. His eyes were dark red and oddly reptilian.
'Who is John Galt?'
Clarice took a step back, unable to help herself.
'How did you know I was going to ask you that?'
'Crawford sent you, didn't he? Because you're still no closer to catching Mr John Galt. I gather that Craig David may be his newest victim. What a bad boy he is.'
'Doctor Lecter - help me,' Clarice burst out impulsively. 'Even as we speak, another rich obnoxious entitled asshole may be facing certain death. You understand John Galt, don't you? Who is he? Who is he, and why is he doing this?'
'First, tell me something in exchange, Clarice. Quid pro quo.'
She stared at him. The dark red eyes stared back at her. A moment of pure electricity passed between them. She felt herself blushing slightly. For a murderous cannibal nutjob, he was kind of cute.
'What - what do you want to know?'
His voice was soft, implacable. 'What did you dream of last night, Clarice?'
'It - it was - it was a bad dream I sometimes have. A memory from childhood.'
Silence pressed in around them for long seconds. Finally, she spoke again, as if hypnotised or drugged.
'When I was young, we lived on a farm. There was a family who lived next door to us. They were called the Rands. God, they were weirdos. Fanatically right wing Russian fruit-loop neocons, with the most fucked up ideas about life, sex and the universe you ever imagined. They were all butt ugly, and wore more gold jewellery than Mr T, and looked like they'd just stepped off a Nazi propaganda poster. Someone ought to have banned them under the Race Relations act.'
In her mind, Clarice was remembering those strange, hauntingly ugly faces. A family that could have turned Julie Burchill into a raving anti-semite within minutes of meeting them. Cold sweat had broken out on her forehead. Suddenly she was no longer in the Sunnyvale Home for Homicidal Maniacs. She was ten years old and walking alone across dark fields. Hearing the deafening, discordant sound of the unthinkable.
'One night, I was coming home from the barn when I heard voices coming from the Rands' house. They were screaming that their daughter Ayn had just got a fuck off six figure book deal despite being incapable of writing a realistic or sympathetic character if her life depended on it. It was the most terrible sound I ever heard in my life. And that's what I hear at night, Doctor Lecter. I hear thse Rands, screaming, near the barn...'
*
'Who is John Galt? It's the name police are giving to the serial killer who has been terrorising obnoxious rich assholes across America...'
Dagny Taggart sighed impatiently, turned off the news and put on a CD. She did so with the rare speed and deftness which characterised everything she did. Ever since she had been a small child, Dagny Taggart had had a rare ability to put on CDs. While other children fumbled and dropped the silvery discs, she had always been able to manipulate them with an effortless fluid dexterity that was almost godlike. Really, it was amazing how much better she was than everyone else. The song came on immediately.
'She's an American girl...'
She sang along to the music as she drove on through the night. Dagny Taggart had a rare ability to sing harmoniously, and had done ever since she was a small child. It was little wonder she had so effortlessly ascended the ranks at her father's company, in a series of promotions that had absolutely nothing to do with nepotism and she'd sack anyone who said any different. Dagny Taggart had a rare ability to sack anyone who said any different, and had done ever since she was a small child.
Parking outside her apartment block, she got out of her car. There was nobody in sight except a man on crutches, laboriously attempting to get a cumbersome piece of furniture into the back of a van. Dagny stepped towards him. She owed it to the small irrelevant people around her, to assist them in endeavours that came so hard to them and so effortlessly to her. Dagny Taggart had a rare ability to get cumbersome pieces of furniture into the back of a van, and had done ever since she was a small child.
'Do you need any help, lesser mortal?'
'Thank you. That would be very kind.'
His voice was mumbling and strange. She barely noticed, intent as she was on getting the cumbersome bit of furniture into the back of the van, with the single minded determination which characterised everything she did. As she climbed into the back of the van to pull it in, she noticed the stranger stepping towards her. Dagny Taggart had a rare ability to notice strangers stepping towards her, and had done ever since she was a small child.
'Are you an obnoxious rich asshole?'
She stared at him in confusion, the words only beginning to sink into her mind. Then, as the chloroform soaked pad pressed down over her face, the truth hit her with the power and speed of a sledgehammer.
Oh my God, Dagny Taggart thought starkly. It's John Galt.
Then there was nothing but a featureless field of grey.
(To be continued. Maybe. If anyone gives a fuck. Let's face it, if you've never read Atlas Shrugged AND Silence of the Lambs, this parody will mean cock all to you. So I'm basically speaking to about three people. Hope you're all having a good weekend anyway...)
J x
Editorial note
This was really funny when I read it last night, which is why I have to post it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)