Friday, November 30, 2007

The Three Wise Monkeys

Gordon Brown, Harriet Harman, Jack Dromey (her husband)
Priminister, Leader of the House and the party treasurer.
Police are to launch an enquiry into the donations scandal. Link here

Honestly speaking you would have thought that with all the fuss about donations and the laws that Tony himself put through government to make sure that donations to political parties were not secretive that someone would have taken note of it especially the party that brought the laws in, in the first place.

Instead they seem to be attracting attention to themselves. It seems the labour spin machine has now become a fan and the brown stuff has hit the fan.

Tony must be laughing his socks off at the ineptitude of his successor.

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Book Review: My Boyfriend is a Twat

My Boyfriend is a Twat.

I have been reading this book and I have to say that Zoe's trials and tribulations of daily life with her boyfriend are funny, erudite and downright hilarious.

It is the book of the award winning blog of the same name.

I have to say I haven't laughed this much since I was a kid, and went into complete giggles ending up with me almost having an asthmatic attack halfway through
Even if you are happy with your life you need to buy this book as there are gems nearly on every page for your delight. A well presented and delightful trip through a relationship with a twat.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Sorry I have been busy....

Originally uploaded by Screaming Bertha.

And no the bottle in question is still sealed but its my bottle of rum rather than anyone else's....

I apologise for the lack of blog posts. I had rather a lot of paperwork to do including writing a 20 A4 page synopsis of my troubles over the last three years. I tell you writing things that have happened to you in detail is something I never want to do again. More will be disclosed later on later next year about that.

Friday, November 23, 2007

Something for the weekend

Im not feeling up to swearblogging today. I think I overdid it on the first post yesterday

Click first post and see, in the mean time enjoy your Friday night.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

All that Glitters is Definitely Gold

Here is a faultless couple.(Javed Miandad's son and his wife (Dawood Ibrahim's Daughter).........

It made me laugh anyway... ( tip click on picture to see large version)

And yet more Doctor Bashing

Heard on the news today. Consultants get more money but do less work. What tosh , what fucking rubbish. More government crap and where the hell did they get that average £110000 salary. Most consultants don't get that they get £78000 after working their arse off for 7-10 years.

Heathrow Airport

A proposed sixth terminal is touted for Heathrow. Link here

They are planning to destroy the village of Sipson.

Hypocrites! They bang on about carbon emissions and global warming yet because its good for business they have to enlarge Heathrow Airport.

Gordon Brown and the Incompetents

Sounds like a pop group, or a band of musicians who can't play very well.

In fact its our government, and the standard of people they employ and the uselessness of our education system.

Two computer discs were posted in the regular mail with no record of posting, no nothing and they went missing. Thing is they contained highly confidential details of all the bank accounts of those who receive child benefit. Now who is to blame?

The person who posted it who has probably done it in a rush. No aforethought of how sensitive the material and not intelligent or educated enough to think , "oh this stuff is important it shouldn't get lost", and without the presence of mind to think I better send this a better way such as recorded delivery or some other such stuff.

Of course someone has got them and thinks they are shiny or worth something or they've been put somewhere and been stolen or taken to be hacked into.

Its not confined to this area of government either and that is what is so wrong with our society and our education.
Link here
The DWP regularly sends back the originals of household bills and driving licences and passports, the statements of your ISAs and your premium bonds, need I go on?, in the second class post after you apply for benefits or anything else a
They don't give a monkeys after they've seen it and sorted your benefit.

No covering letter, no nothing, and it is a miracle that your identity and your stuff doesn't get pilfered by someone.

I've had it happen to me and I was upset and my father pointed out to me that he was upset about how they had sent my stuff back.

Why is the question we should be asking? Why when the government is so fucking concerned about terrorism is it so lax in protecting its own citizens?

I wouldn't trust the government to organise a vertical urination in a brewery ( that's a piss up to you and I).

They have dumbed down the education system through successive governments and created an underclass who can't think through things properly and who are terrible at managing things and then they put up posters for the likes of you and I who are educated and say no abuse or we'll prosecute you.

Well I say you bastards, you fucking bastards why the fuck can't you deal with us properly and why the fuck aren't the standards higher, then you wouldn't even risk the possibility of abuse you ignorant bastards.

Our education system is in meltdown and our infrastructure rapidly crumbling and our governmental offices filled with the lowest ignorant people because they wouldn't get a job anywhere else.

I remember vividly asking my dyslexic rather slow witted and ignorant relative where he worked and he told me that he was working in Lambeth for the civil service, and I thought.. uh oh this isn't right what the fuck is he doing there. Would I trust him to take care of my pension? The answer is no.

The government wants slaves and people who take orders but what it fails to realise is that in order for that system to work you have to have constant supervision by someone who knows what needs to be done and how it should be done, you don't leave them to make their own decisions or there will be chaos.

The government have hidden this from us for 18 months.. they say they were posted 18 months ago.

If it were not so outrageous it would be cause for a general election. How dare they play with us and half the population is affected, and will be affected for years

I'm surprised there aren't demonstrations going on but of course these days you just can't go out and demonstrate you have to tell the police in advance which makes it impossible to just protest when you feel like it and this in what we call a free western democracy.

India has a better democracy because at least there any kind of protest is valid and no one dare break it up for the fear of rioting.

Of course this is just another feature of a dumbed down populace, the inability to even go out there and protest for our rights. Apathy rules ok and the sheeple just baa and get on with eating.
It makes me sick and it is a terrible day.

Over the channel the French strike and protest because their education is better than ours, and this is shown by how many expatriates from Britain live there and get their children into those schools.

It is a sad day because we have been cheated and lied to for years and given bad service and what do we do when we vote? we don't even fucking bother to change the sodding people who cheat us.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Into each life some rain must fall

D DM7 D6 Gdim D9 Em7 D9
In - to each life some rain must fall

G D F#m B7 Edim B7 Em7 A7
But too much is fall - ing in mine

Em B+ Em7/6 Cdim Em B+ Em6
In - to each heart some tears must fall

Em7 A7 Em7 A7 Edim D Cdim A7
But some day the sun will shine

F#7 Gdim F#7 C#m7-5 B7 Cdim B7
Some folks can lose the blues in their hearts

Bm7-5 E7 Cdim E7/9 E7 A7 G/B Fdim A7
But when I think of you an - oth - er show - er starts

D DM7 D6 Gdim D F#m B7
In - to each life some rain must fall

Cdim G G/F# Em7/6 Fdim A7 D
But too much is fall - ing in mine.

D DM7 D6 Gdim D F#m B7
In - to each life some rain must fall

Cdim G G/F# Em7/6 Fdim A7 D
But too much is fall - ing in mine.

“There are moments in life, when the heart is so full of emotion That if by chance it be shaken, or into its depths like a pebble Drops some careless word, it overflows, and its secret, Spilt on the ground like water, can never be gathered together”

From another famous Henry namely Henry Wadsworth Longfellow and this one too,

“It is foolish to pretend that one is fully recovered from a disappointed passion. Such wounds always leave a scar.”

Henry is feeling the tiredness and the exhaustion that comes with trying to do too much over the last few days and it shows

The Rainy Day
The day is cold, and dark, and dreary;
It rains, and the wind is never weary;
The vine still clings to the mouldering wall,
But at every gust the dead leaves fall, And the day is dark and dreary.

My life is cold, and dark, and dreary;
It rains, and the wind is never weary;
My thoughts still cling to the mouldering Past,
But the hopes of youth fall thick in the blast, And the days are dark and dreary.

Be still, sad heart! and cease repining;
Behind the clouds is the sun still shining;
Thy fate is the common fate of all,
Into each life some rain must fall, Some days must be dark and dreary.

Monday, November 19, 2007

First Royal Diamond Wedding Anniversary

Only the fifth time a double portrait on the Coins...

Now all the Queen and Prince Philip have to do is a Diamond Jubilee and a Platinum wedding anniversary plus a Platinum Jubilee and then she'll be virtually unbeatable

She is after all only six years away from Queen Victoria's record of 61 years on the throne

Friday, November 16, 2007

Achmed and Jeff

History of Baileys Irish Cream

Historical story

In 1971, a committee of senior managers in Gilbeys of Ireland had the idea for a uniquely Irish drink reflecting Ireland’s heritage and agricultural and distilling traditions.

Baileys first appeared in a ten gallon milkchurn by accident in 1974 because they had been trying to get the whiskey to mix with the cream.

The whiskey is a grain whiskey, and then is blended in with about 50% cream. Back in the old days, a way to handle an upset stomach was to mix whiskey and cream together. It would soothe your stomach. The problem was that the two would not mix well together for long - but Bailey's found a secret way to get the mixture to stay.

No one had managed to blend cream and whiskey before and it took years of patient work, plus a little chocolate and vanilla, to create the truly amazing taste.

Finally, on November 26th 1974 there was an almost magical accident and a new type of drink was born: the cream liqueur.

What actually happens is that they mix the chocolate mix, ( cocoa nibs and vanilla )add burnt sugar( caramel),sugar and then whiskey with the cream to make the famous drink that has a shelf life of 2 years.

So you may think its easy to make but it took them three years to make it.

If you pay peanuts....

I have been reminded by reading the Daily Brute that the NHS is going down the tubes

It also has management monkeys. Enjoy the video

Thursday, November 15, 2007

A Day at the Cathedral

This is the first time in two years since I was at St Paul's Cathedral and on that occasion on 1st November 2005 I was lucky enough to exit through the big central West doors along with some fellow KCU members.

They charge now for entrance so I didnt go in but it was good to see St Paul's again

Diamonds are Forever

Sparkling round my little finger...

Well not this one its too big at 84.37 carats.

Bought by the founder of Guess Clothing in the USA on the 1st of October 2007 in Geneva at Sotheby's

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Langham Freed

The actor put in jail for downloading pornography has had his sentence cut and will be out later today. As Rachel has said just being in possession of things doesn't necessarily mean that you are wicked and vile and I would agree with her here.

Full story in Metro

St Pancras Opens to International Travel

Finally you can get on a train and get to the south of France in less than 8 hours.

Edit: French railways are on strike! Typical!

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

It could only happen in India

A man who was cursed with a disability after he stoned two dogs to death has married a a female dog.

Link here

Normally you'd expect the bride to be human but in this case his wife really is a bitch.

And his wife is the daughter of a bitch.

Well I suppose it takes all sorts.

Monday, November 12, 2007

Mobile Updates by Text

This is now live.

If you are sweet enough to live in the UK and wish to follow this blog by your mobile phone then if you feel that you would like a subscription please follow the instructions in the right hand column under the 1 party for all banner.

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Coming soon... Mobile feed by text message

This will be a text subscription service for the atom feed. There is no need for you to text 88999 but if you wish it then it will happen and yes you will be charged as described.

I am forced to do this because I don't think I'll be pan-handling as described in a previous post as I'd rather die before spending a day on the pavements of London begging.

Anyway the choice is yours and yours alone.

More tomorrow.. Enjoy your Saturday night.

Fools and their Money

I talk of course about the Iphone...Link here

Of course if you wait another month you can go over to France where it will no doubt be cheaper and completely unlocked and capable of receiving updates from Apple with no problems later on.

Plus my father remarked quite sensibly that it would be an act of complete folly to buy one just now.

Why? Because every mugger, drug addict, rapscallion rascal, pickpocket out there on the street if they see you using one will target you. They are the new must have thing and I'm sure the criminal fraternity is checking out who bought the damn thing to see who they can nick it off.

After all why pay for something that's so easily nicked?

Edit: BBC review here

Thursday, November 8, 2007

Oh dear, On the road to Totalitarianism

Department of Transport is looking into plans to give six points for being flashed by a camera. Link here

This is exactly what Australia has on double jeopardy weekends leading to two offences meaning that you can lose your licence for two offences.

This is a serious slap in the face for civil liberties and a tightening vice grip of laws.

Imagine the knock on effect if people cant move freely with their cars. Yes they'll be moved on to public transport. You guessed it its a subtle plan to stop us using our cars through fear of losing our licences.

At first I thought the double jeopardy weekends in Australia were a joke and then I realised they weren't and I was horrified.

OK I lied... here is a post to keep you going

I thought up a post whilst I was commenting on someone elses blog Zinzine if youre interested... wander over.

It was to do with my financial situation and the abject poverty and misery that I now find myself in having not been in work since the end of April.

At one point I considered the antiquated artful life of a pan handler as I had been told by my clients that certain areas of London provided rich pickings.

That and selling the Big Issue for drugs as some clients confided to me

One time I came upon a beggar in London and gave him tuppence and he rejected it...

It was only later when I realised that pan handling can earn enough for your drug fix that I realised he was not a genuine beggar but a drug fucked one... courtesy of course of working with the homeless drug addicts of Westminster for five months.

Of course now I am going to have to panhandle being as the DWP only give me 245 pounds a month as incapacity benefit and my outgoings and lifestyle demand ten times that amount at least.

A good day's panhandling in Knightsbridge once a week and me and my dog should be quids in.

I shall have to do some research for it too. But as I was reliably told by my drug addict clients

You can get upto £200 an hour there

I looked at them and thought mmm Im in the wrong game here.

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Blogging will return after Diwali and Tikka

Sorry folks but there'll be no fresh posts until after the Indian New year.
There's plenty in the archives and I suggest you start with January 2007 as a very good starting point as to why I started this blog in the first place.

Also Musings will give you a more personal account of how I've been feeling recently.

Happy Divali and Happy New Year and Happy Tikka

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

On Ludicrous Laws that still exist

There are still some ludicrous laws in place out there.

Pity that the Queen's speech couldn't have mentioned repealing them.

I repeat the list for those unwilling to go to the link.

The UK's top 10 most ridiculous British laws were listed as:

# 1. It is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament (27%)

# 2. It is an act of treason to place a postage stamp bearing the British king or queen's image upside-down (7%)

# 3. It is illegal for a woman to be topless in Liverpool except as a clerk in a tropical fish store (6%)

# 4. Eating mince pies on Christmas Day is banned(5%)

# 5. If someone knocks on your door in Scotland and requires the use of your toilet, you are required to let them enter (4%)

# 6. In the UK a pregnant woman can legally relieve herself anywhere she wants, including in a policeman's helmet (4%)

# 7. The head of any dead whale found on the British coast automatically becomes the property of the King, and the tail of the Queen (3.5%)

# 8. It is illegal not to tell the tax man anything you do not want him to know, but legal not to tell him information you do not mind him knowing (3%)

# 9. It is illegal to enter the Houses of Parliament wearing a suit of armour

# 10. It is legal to murder a Scotsman within the ancient city walls of York, but only if he is carrying a bow and arrow (2%)

And for others?

The top 10 bizarre foreign laws as voted by those polled:

# 1. In Ohio, it is illegal to get a fish drunk (9%)

# 2. In Indonesia, the penalty for masturbation is decapitation (8%)

# 3. A male doctor in Bahrain can only examine the genitals of a woman in the reflection of a mirror (7%)

# 4. In Switzerland, a man may not relieve himself standing up after 10pm (6%)

# 5. It is illegal to be blindfolded while driving a vehicle in Alabama (6%)

# 6. In Florida, unmarried women who parachute on a Sunday could be jailed (6%)

# 7. Women in Vermont must obtain written permission from their husbands to wear false teeth (6%)

# 8. In Milan, it is a legal requirement to smile at all times, except during funerals or hospital visits (5%)

# 9. There is no age of consent in Japan (5%)

# 10. In France, it is illegal to name a pig Napoleon (4%)

Monday, November 5, 2007


To indulge in idle daydreaming....

I think I shall be doing this in future.

Guy Fawkes Day

Well what can I say, the politicians want to raise their salaries, a stupid woman who wouldn't have a blood transfusion after having twins has died, Pakistan is in a state of emergency ( but since when has that been news) Condoleeza issues imperatives from Washington D.C. and gets frankly ignored and the school leaving age rises to 18.

Saturday, November 3, 2007

The Times Repeats itself

Today in the Times Newspaper page 17 and page 33. The same story by Tim Reid in Washington about Scott Parazynski. The two stories are almost exactly word for word.

Why has the Times repeated this in the paper version? Did someone have a brainstorm sorry brainshower?

Friday, November 2, 2007

Is this the real life or is this just fantasy

No escape from reality...

As the famous song goes. I haven't been able to keep up with the politics as I've just been too bloody busy with my own reality.