Thursday, May 14, 2009

Ten Reasons not to Fornicate with a Libertarian

Just to continue the Satire because anything is funny and this is pure theatre....

From Whom I thank for having tweeted about it and me finding it.

After all, Libertarians “basically believe in individual choice and responsibility. You make your choices and you are responsible for the consequences of those choices.” (M. Shermer 2009)

Top Ten Reasons Not to F**k A Libertarian

  1. Apparently, despite their names, the Fountainhead and Atlas Shrugged are NOT porn. At least to normal people
  2. Laissez-faire is never a good thing in bed.
  3. Rational self-interest is code for him coming in five minutes and going back to work.
  4. Ethical egoism is often synonymous with egotistical asshat who gives to charity. Of course that "charity" is a libertarian PAC.
  5. Travel to late night booty calls requires roads. Roads that he wishes were privatized, perhaps by Halliburton or Blackwater
  6. Showers to get ready for sex or clean up afterwards require water, which many of us would prefer to be free from deadly amoebas. Women are so picky.
  7. Sex toys made in a libertarian society could contain nasty, nasty things that would anger your vagina. Of course, the MARKET, would eventually correct it, but do you want to be the sacrificial tang? Additionally, with no government testing or regulations of condoms, who knows what could happen. Don’t worry about it. Again, market correction will help, because if the condom breaks now, you will be SURE not to buy that condom brand again.
  8. If you get pregnant, sure abortion will be available. In fact, LOTS of choices for abortion would be available, including the market driven cheapie drive-thru abortion clinics (Stop N Drop That Fetus) that the government has no power to shut down.
  9. If you choose to give birth, there is a high chance that the child will ALSO have the libertarian gene. Can you really risk that? Do you want to homeschool? Do you want to go back to work three days after giving birth because there is no maternity leave and your employer can fire you with no repercussions?
  10. Finally, with so many yummy liberal skeptic dudes, who has time to f**k the free market fundies?
Standard Disclaimer. This is a Libertarian Blog but who says we can't laugh at ourselves occasionally?


  1. I take it that's by Cameron's weird understanding of libertarianism rather than the real thing.

    Personally, I find I have to advocate free market aggression between tendering competitors to thin down the queue outside my door. ;-)

  2. I am glad that you posted this. It was totally written as satire of the whole libertarian/liberal cockfighting that goes on in the US skeptic movement. How do I know? I wrote it!

    I am a liberal, and was getting irritated with certain members of the skeptic movement acting as if their political ideology made them gods. I felt the need to send some love to the liberal skeptic men AND at the same time pull the pigtails of Shermer/Jillette etc.

    I am glad that you recognize the joke. Others did not. I would gladly fornicate with libertarian men who possess your excellent senses of humor. Well,except for my being married already to a lovely liberal man!


  3. The pleasure is all mine I enjoyed it so it got posted up I really did enjoy post number nine actually That was really funny.

  4. Number 8 I mean, as well as number 9