Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Heatwave Special: Pinocchio

Starring Peter Mandelson.

With Thanks to the Red Rag

Norwich North By Election

According to the Times and according to the Coffee House Blog in the Spectator the election is on 23rd July 2009.

The Libertarian party is fielding the youngest ever Parliamentary prospective candidate, at the age of 18 Thomas Burridge would be the youngest ever MP in Parliament. Ladbrokes have him at 500 to 1. People could make a lot of money if we get elected.

My name is Thomas Burridge and I am eighteen waiting to go to University, I am the Libertarian Party Candidate for Norwich North.

Most sensible people will be saying what the hell does he know about anything- This is what I do know the last twelve years
of Labour has left my generation in massive debt, my generation will be paying off the excesses of the last twelve years for the rest of our lives,
not only my generation, by our as yet unborn children. Did we have any say in spending the rest of our lives in debt ? No we did not.

Currently the Tories and Labour are arguing about cutting a pifling 5% of our current bloated State spending. The LPUK are talking about
scrapping the whole rotten system, that has given us high personal taxes, squalid services, a corrupt Parliament and starting again.

I may not win this time, but I will be back in five years, and in another five years and in another five years, by the then guilty ones will
still be wallowing in their pensions or will be long dead, but the debt will be there.

I am from the Debt Generation only the LPUK has fresh answers from a new Generation.

We need your money, £5 or £10 or even more

Please donate donate@lpuk.org

What Jackson should have looked like


Saturday, June 27, 2009

Would that we could do this here

HT to Shibby

The sad case of the blackbird and the pussy cat

Today I saw and heard the most awful sight that you could possibly see in a inner city suburban garden.

A songbird, either thrush or blackbird in the mouth of a big fat tabby cat, being held by the shoulder and squeaking with abandon, whilst the cat trotted to its allotted spot to despatch said bird.

Still it keeps the damn birds off the cherry trees and my fruit bushes.

Conflict of interest. I don't much like cats, and I have a dog that couldn't catch anything.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Undercover with the BNP

Shocking BNP revealed as complete racists.

Labour Pains

From our Guest Blogger Juliette

I'm about to make a fairly radical comment here

I can't stand Labour.

Whether it's Old Labour, New Labour or sort of Middle Aged But Young At Heart Labour, it gets on my bloody nerves. And it always has done

Normally, anyone who fancies themself as a bit on the intellectual or satirical side is duty-bound to say the exact opposite. Labour is my bestest friend. And Convervatives are stupid/boring/ ugly/unsexy/smell of poo-poo/have nits/can't play with us.

Well, sorry. But - while I'm no great pom-pom carrying cheerleader for the Right (and I still think George Osbourne is Central Casting's ideal choice for a Home Counties Patrick Bateman) - the fact is, I hate the Left a whole lot more.

There are many vices in this world I can happily tolerate.

However, hypocrisy is not one of them.

And the Left is absolutely crawling with the stuff. Exuding it from every sanctimonious pore.

Read the Guardian comment section, and its columnists are constantly warning of the hell that will await us under the Tories. Within months of Cameron acending to power, England will become a nightmarish dystopia of cruelty and evil. Peasants being whipped to death in the street for the crime of pulling a rickshaw too slowly. Babies starving in gutters as top-hatted capitalists whisk past lighting their foot-long cigars with hundred-pound notes. Serfs, vassals and droit de seigneur. People of England, you have been warned.

Well, I hate to burst their bubble, but - unlike the proles in 1984 - I do have a fairly reliable memory. And it tells me that day-to-day life under the Tories was pretty much same as it is now.

Maybe a bit lighter on Diversity Co-ordinators, Traveller Liaison Support Workers and Equality Support Strategic Development Co-ordination Czars.

But what the hell, we survived.

And yes, I know there are statistics showing that there's less crime, safer streets, happier pensioners, better healthcare etc etc etc under Labour. Thing is, you can prove anything with statistics. Literally anything. Especially if you threaten the people producing them with demotion or dismissal if they can't make the numbers go the right way. You can prove that Iraq is a safer place to live than Tunbridge Wells. Or that you're in more danger from a feather duster than a terrorist bomb. Don't believe me, watch The Wire some time.

IMHO, all politicians without exception are dodgy, thieving, lying wankers who care about exactly two things - getting elected, and getting rich(er).

The only difference is that the right are (very slightly) less hypocritical and annoying about it.

And while they're ripping you off, screwing the public for every last penny, not giving a tinker's toss about the poor and needy, crawling up the arses of any dodgy Russian billionaires that happen to bung them a few (milion) quid and scrounging freebies right, left and centre, they don't simultaneously expect you to bow down and worship them as the public-spirited holiest of public-spirited holies.

Here are my top reasons why the right-on left wing sucks...

Polly Toynbee

God, how I loathe this woman. How can I even begin to convey the depth of my hatred and contempt for her, and everything she stands for?

Here is my case for the prosecution.

Exhibit A - her smug, annoying, sanctimoniously smirking face - which acts much like a government health warning on a packet of fags, immediately warning you of what horrors lurk within. She has the most instantly dislikeable visage this side of Mark Thatcher.

Exhibit B - her relentless patronising air of holier-than-thou superiority, which she takes to a level that would make Lady Bountiful physically sick. Underscored by the certain knowledge that, for all her pontificating on the tragedy of inner city estates and what must be done to help their unfortunate underprivileged inhabitants, she lives about as far away from an inner city estate as it's humanly possible to get without the aid of space travel.

She is the sort of person who will earnestly use the phrase 'people less fortunate than ourselves'

The sort of person who will say 'it is tremendously important to understand the social context that compels under-privileged young people to demonstrate challenging behaviour and become involved in the justice system.'

But you can bet your left tit she's got a bloody good burglar alarm.

The only good thing about Polly Toynbee is that - if you read her column right before Body Combat - you'll go into that class like a young Mike Tyson on crack.

So from the narrow perspective of my health and fitness, I guess she's not a complete waste of space...

John Prescott

Yes, I know he's yesterday's man. But for me, his entire being summarises an entire breed - he's the sanctimonious Old Left incarnate. And highlights a rather awkward truth which the likes of the Ragged Trousered Philanthropists somehow endeavoured to ignore.

People in power immediately become greedy bastards. Fact.

This applies whether they were born in a forty-bedroomed stately home with wall-to-wall housemaids and hot and cold running butlers, or in a cardboard box in t'middle of t'motorway a la the Monty Python sketch.

Far as I can tell, the only difference between old-left John Prescott and old-right Nicholas Soames is that Nicholas Soames a - knows how to hold his cutlery, b - isn't carrying something on his shoulder that's less a chip, more a fair-sized branch of McDonalds, and c - isn't a hypocritical cock jockey who thinks he's a man of the people despite owning five dozen polo ponies, eight mansions and a private army.

Apart from that, they're two smug greedy fat peas in a particularly ugly pod (think the horrible great slimy things in Gremlins...)


Aaargh! It's a multi headed political monster in horrible flat brown lace-up shoes, and it's trying to bore us to death! It's bombarding us with heavy-duty jargon at machine-gun pace! Multi-agency-working! Robust strategic partnerships! Outcome-focused patient-centric services! Use the Farce, Luke. Use the Farce!

The Observer On Sunday Magazine Section

Lost. Will to live. Answers to the name of Fluffy.

Polly Toynbee

Yes, I know I mentioned her before. But I hate the pious old bag so much, I just had to give her a second reference.

So it's another mention for the intrepid people's champion, with a real intuitive grasp of how ordinary British citizens live, think, work and feel. Daughter of rich literati. Great-niece of billionaire philathropist. Alumnus of Badminton School and St Anne's College, Oxford.

Anyone know where I can buy a decent voodoo doll round the Liverpool Street area?

The Right-On Teachers Of My Youth

If a teacher attempted to brainwash kids by reading them right-wing propaganda, there would be an uproar - and rightly so.

So how come, in my youth as now, it's perfectly okay to do the opposite?

Today, the offending books would almost certainly have been the staggeringly over-rated works of Philip Pullman - whose entire philosophy could be summarised as follows. Brainwashing kids to be conservative or religious is vile and unforgivable, and CS Lewis was a wanker. It's quite okay to brainwash them to be liberal atheists, though. Hey kids, God is dead, gay is good and anyone who says any different is evil and deserves to die.

Back in the day, however, it was a book series named The Borribles by a man named Michel de Larrabeiti. Which was read out to our primary school class, in not-particularly-eagerly-awaited instalments, by some Thatch-hatin' commie twat of a teacher called Mr Wilson. He had a guitar, too. And wore jeans. If he'd been any more of a cliche, he'd have been removed from the first draft of his own life by an eagle-eyed editor.

For some inexplicable reason, the Borribles series has fallen into obscurity. But here's the story in brief, if memory serves. Kids (who are good) run away from home and from grown-ups (which are bad), and form an anarchic tribe of their own called the Borribles (which is good). They survive by stealing (which is good) from adult businesses (which are bad). But they only steal food, and not money (which is bad). Their enemies are the police (who are bad), who try to catch them and make them become respectable law-abiding citizens (which is bad).

The police are led by an evil man named Inspector Sussworth, who is short and dark-haired with a toothbrush moustanche and a passion for order. The author doesn't actually give him one bollock or a German accent, but you get the impression it was a close-run thing.

It was the most most glaring attempt at childhood brainwashing since Swastika Press released their children's classic Jenny Lives With Adolf and Eva.

Although actually, it didn't work. Because even at the tender age of nine, I privately considered Mr Wilson to be an annoying cock monkey - and hence believed the exact opposite of anything he told us.

To this very day, I still think the police are better than shoplifters.

Sorry, Mr Wilson.

I'm voting Conservative next election, anyway. And at this point, I'm going to come right out and tell you the shocking truth.

I voted Conservative last general election, too.

Hey, sue me...

J x

Monday, June 15, 2009

Geert Wilders Speech

Here is the text of the speech given by Geert Wilders yesterday in Copenhagen.

Ladies and gentlemen,

Thank you, Danish Free Press Society, again for inviting me to speak to you here in Copenhagen. It is good to be back in Denmark. Thank you, my friend, Lars Hedegaard.

And last but not least, I thank the Danish border police for having allowed me into the country.

Ladies and gentlemen, last week was a tremendous week. My party, the Dutch Freedom Party, came second in the Dutch elections for the European Parliament!

In many cities, including Rotterdam and The Hague, we even managed to become the largest party!

Meanwhile here in Denmark, the Danish People’s Party again performed very well, which is excellent news for Denmark. I congratulate Pia Kjærsgaard and Morten Messerschmidt on their party’s victory. Marvellous news!

There is more good news these days. In Europe the socialists — or social democrats, as they prefer to call themselves — lost nearly everywhere: in the Netherlands, in Belgium, in Germany, in Austria, in France, in Spain, in Italy and, perhaps best of all, in the United Kingdom. The greatest coward in Europe, the British Prime Minister Gordon Brown, suffered a tremendous blow at the hands of the British electorate. Serves him right!

I will not terribly miss Jacqui Smith, the British cabinet member that worked so hard to have me refused in the UK because of my film Fitna. It is rather ironic that her career-ending was somehow film-related, as it turned out the British taxpayer had to pay for the porn-movies her husband rented. At least, we cannot say she is a movie-hater as such. Just her taste is a little bit selective.
- - - - - - - - -
Why is it good news that the socialists lost by such a margin?

Let me answer this myself. It’s good news because socialists are the most inveterate cultural relativists in Europe. They regard the Islamic culture of backwardness and violence as equal to our Western culture of freedom, democracy and human rights. In fact, it is the socialists who are responsible for mass immigration, Islamization and general decay of our cities and societies. It are the socialists who are responsible for the fact that cities such as Rotterdam, Marseille and Malmö seem to be situated in Eurabia rather than in Europe. And they are even proud of it.

Our Western elite, whether it are politicians, journalists or judges, have lost their way completely. All sense of reality has vanished. All common sense has been thrown to the wind. They take all efforts to deny the things that take place in front of our eyes, and deny everything that is so obviously seen by everyone else.

They won’t stand firm on any issue. Their cultural relativism affects absolutely everything up to the point where they no longer see the difference between good and evil, or between nonsense and logical common sense. Everything is pushed into a grey area, a foggy marsh without beginning or end. The only moral standard they still seem to apply is the question whether or not it is approved by Muslims. Everything Muslims disapprove, they disapprove too.

And so, the voters have had enough. Because they of course realise that Europe is going in the wrong direction. They know that there are enormous problems with Islam in Europe. They are well aware of the identity of those who are taking them for a ride, namely, the Shariah socialists.

As for those present here today, I’m sure everyone knows how intractable the problems with Islam are in Europe, given that Muslims are over-represented in crime rate figures as well as in social benefit statistics. Of course, this is not to say that there aren’t many Muslims of good will who are decent, law-abiding citizens. But facts are facts.

According to the Dutch Bureau for Economic Policy Analysis, mass immigration has to date cost the Dutch taxpayer more than one hundred billion Euros. According to the Danish national bank, every Danish Muslim immigrant costs the Danish state more than 300,000 Euros. A Swedish economist has calculated that mass immigration costs the Swedish taxpayer twenty-seven billion dollars annually. In Norway a warning has been issued to the effect that the proceeds from North Sea oil will have to be spent entirely on mass immigration, while in France official figures have been published suggesting that mass immigration is reducing growth in the French economy by two-thirds. In other words, mass immigration, demographic developments and Islamization are certainly partly causes of Europe’s steadily increasing impoverishment and decay.

Ladies and gentlemen, you may know of the Danish psychologist Nicolai Sennels, who recently said that Muslim integration in the West is simply impossible. Now, that is not a novel idea. A certain Frenchman said pretty much the same thing in 1959. I quote, “Those who recommend integration must be considered pea-brained even if they are scholars and scientists. Just try mixing oil and vinegar. Then shake the bottle. After a moment the two substances will separate again. Do you really believe French society could absorb ten million Muslims, who would be twenty million tomorrow and forty million the day after? In fact, my own village would no longer be Colombey-les-deux-Églises but would rather come to be known as Colombey-les-deux-mosques.”

This quote, you guessed it, is from none other than the former French President Charles de Gaulle.

Now, I do not know whether Sennels and De Gaulle were right in their conclusion that Muslims are incapable of integrating into other cultures. I think in reality we do see Muslims on individual level assimilating into our societies. But what I do know is that very many Muslims do not want to integrate. Again, the facts don’t lie: four in ten British Muslim students want Sharia law to be implemented, while one-third of British Muslim students are in favour of a worldwide caliphate. Seven out of ten Spanish Muslims consider their self a Muslim first, instead of a Spanish citizen. One-third of French Muslims do not object to suicide attacks, half of Dutch Muslims admit to ‘understanding’ the 9/11 attacks. Seven out of ten youth prisoners here in Copenhagen are Muslim. In 2005, 82% of the crimes in Copenhagen were committed by immigrants, many of them Muslim. More than half of the Danish Muslims think that it should be forbidden to criticise Islam and two out of three Danish Muslims think that free speech should be curtailed.

Some time ago an interview was held in France with the French Muslim student Mohamed Sabaoui, who said the following, and I quote:

“Your laws do not coincide with the Koran, Muslims can only be ruled by Shariah law.

We will declare Roubaix an independent Muslim enclave and impose Shariah Law upon all its citizens.

We will be your Trojan Horse, we will rule, Allah akbar.”

End of quote.

Ladies and gentlemen, make no mistake: Islam has always attempted to conquer Europe. Spain fell in the 8th century, Constantinople fell in the 15th century, even Vienna and Poland were threatened, and now, in the 21st century, Islam is trying again. This time not with armies, but through the application of Al-Hijra, the Islamic doctrine of migration and demography.

Unfortunately, the Al-Hijra doctrine is very successful. For the first time in world history there are dozens of millions of Muslims living far outside the Dar al-Islam, the Islamic world. Al-Hijra may be the end of European civilization as we know it: The second Dutch city, Rotterdam, will have a non-Western majority within 3 years. Europe has now more than 50 million Muslims, it is expected that this will be doubled in just 20 years. By 2025, one third of all European children will be born to Muslim families.

As I said, many of those Muslims in Europe would like to implement Shariah Law in our judicial systems. As you know, Shariah law covers all areas of life, from religion, hygiene and dietary laws, to dress code, family and social life and from finance and politics to the unity of Islam with the state. For some crimes, horrific, barbaric punishments are prescribed, such as beheading and the chopping off of opposite limbs. In Shariah Courts no woman may become judge. Shariah Law does not recognize free speech and freedom of religion. Polygamy and killing an apostate are ‘virtues’, but the consumption of alcohol is a crime. This is the sick Shariah Law in a nutshell, and it is unbelievable and unacceptable that the cultural relativists allow Shariah banks, Shariah mortgages, Shariah schools and unofficial — and in Britain even official — Shariah tribunals in Europe.

Ladies and gentlemen, these are of course shocking facts, figures and statements. However, they are not particularly surprising to anybody who has some knowledge of the Koran and knows who Muhammad was.

In this connection, ladies and gentlemen, allow me to very briefly discuss the essence of Islam, and let me come straight to the point: Islam is not so much a religion as, first and foremost, an ideology; to be precise, like communism and fascism, a political, totalitarian ideology, with worldwide aspirations.

Of course, there are many moderate Muslims. However, there is no such a thing as a moderate Islam. Islam’s heart lies in the Koran. The Koran is an evil book that calls for violence, murder, terrorism, war and submission. The Koran describes Jews as monkeys and pigs. The Koran calls upon Muslims to kill the Kaffirs, the non-Muslims.

The problem is that the injunctions in the Koran are not restricted to time or place. Rather, they apply to all Muslims, in any period. Another problem is that Muslims also regard the Koran as the word of Allah. Which means that the Koran is immune from criticism.

Apart from the Koran, there is also the life of Muhammad, who fought in dozens of wars and was in the habit of decapitating Jews with his own sword. The problem here is that, to Muslims, Muhammad is ‘the perfect man’, whose life is the model to follow.

This is why Jihadists slaughtered innocent people in Washington, New York, Madrid, Amsterdam, London and Mumbai.

Now is clear why Winston Churchill, in his book ‘The second world war’, for which he received the Nobel Prize in Literature, compared the Koran to Adolf Hitler’s ‘Mein Kampf’. Now is clear why the famous Swiss theologian, Karl Barth, in 1936 said, and I quote, “It is impossible to understand national socialism unless we see it in fact as a new Islam, its myth as a new Allah, and Hitler as this new Allah’s prophet.” Now is clear why Heinrich Himmler was an admirer of Islam. And now is clear why President Obama, who last week, in Cairo, said that Islam has a tradition of tolerance, should be sent back to school.

Just like communism, fascism and nazism, Islam is a threat to everything we stand for. It is a threat to democracy, to the constitutional state, to equality for men and women, to freedom and civilisation. Wherever you look in the world, the more Islam you see, the less freedom you see. Islam is a threat to the Europe of Bach and Michelangelo, Shakespeare and Socrates, Voltaire and Galileo.

Ladies and gentlemen, there is one Western country that has been forced to fight for its values since the very first day of its existence: Israel the canary in the coal mine. Let me say a few words about that wonderful country.

Like Bosnia, Kosovo, Nigeria, Sudan, the Caucasus, Kashmir, southern Thailand, western China and the south of the Philippines, Israel is situated exactly on the dividing line between Dar al-Islam, the Islamic world, and Dar al-Harb, the non-Islamic world. It is no coincidence that it is precisely this dividing line where blood is flowing. All those conflicts concern the Jihad, Jihad in the spirit of the barbarian Muhammad.

Islam forces Israel to fight. The so called ‘Middle East conflict’ is not at all a conflict about land. It is not about some inches of land in Gaza, Judea or Samaria. It is a conflict about ideologies, it is a battle between freedom and Islam, a battle between good and evil, to Islam the whole of Israel is occupied territory. To Islam Tel Aviv and Haifa are settlements too.

Israel is the only democracy in the entire Middle-East. Israel is an oasis of enlightment, whereas the rest of the Middle-East is covered by the black veil of the night. This is no coincidence, in 1939 Winston Churchill said about the Jews in what is now called Israel: “They have made the desert bloom”.

Ladies and gentlemen, I am very much in favour of a two-state solution. One Jewish state called Israel including Judea and Samaria and one Palestinian state called Jordan.

Ladies and gentlemen, wherever Islam and cultural relativism, advocated by Shariah-socialists, come together, freedom of expression is threatened. In Europe in particular, freedom of expression is at risk. As you may know, I am being prosecuted in the Netherlands for expressing my opinion, while being banned from the United Kingdom for the same reason. But, of course, this whole matter is not only about me. There is an ongoing Jihad against free speech in the whole of Europe. In Austria, for example, a lady politician was prosecuted for having spoken the truth about Muhammad. The truth, mind you! We have also had the Danish cartoon crisis; not to mention the threats and/or killing of people as Salman Rushdie, Ayaan Hirsi Ali, Pim Fortuyn, Theo van Gogh, Oriana Fallaci and my brave friend Wafa Sultan. In the Netherlands a cartoonist was arrested by no fewer than ten policemen for having made some drawings! I could go on, but I won’t because it would make you sick.

Ladies and gentlemen, I strongly suggest that we should defend freedom of speech, with all our strength. Free speech is the most important of all our many civil rights. Free speech is the cornerstone of our modern free societies. Without free speech there is no democracy, no freedom. It is our obligation to defend free speech. It is our obligation to preserve the heritage of the British Magna Charta and the French Declaration of the Rights of Man. It is our obligation to defend the American Bill of Rights and the Universal Declaration of Human Rights.

Human rights protect the freedom of individuals but they do not protect ideologies. I propose two things:

I propose a boycott of the UN Human Rights Council. Annually this Council adopts resolutions that attempt to kill free speech and the concept of human rights. Let there be no mistake about it, the UN Human Rights Council is a threat to free speech in the West.

I propose to repeal all hate speech laws in Europe. These laws enable radical Muslims to silence those critical of Islam. Free speech should be extended instead of restricted in Europe. We should consider laws comparable to the American First Amendment.

Unfortunately, however, if we really wish to combat the Islamization of Europe effectively, we will have to do more than guard or extend freedom of speech. In this regard it is my firm conviction that we will have to take the following measures:

First, we will have to end all forms of cultural relativism. For this purpose we will need an amendment to our constitutions stating that our European cultural foundation is Judeo-Christian and Humanistic in nature. To the cultural relativists, the Shariah-socialists, I would proudly say, “Our Western culture is superior to Islamic culture.” Or to quote Wafa Sultan when she compared the Western culture with Islam: “It’s not a clash of civilizations, it’s a clash between barbarity and reason”. I fully agree with her.

Second, we will have to stop mass immigration from Muslim countries and promote voluntary repatriation.

Third, we will have to expel criminal foreigners and, following denaturalisation, criminals with dual nationality. I have a clear message to all Muslims in our societies: if you subscribe to our laws, values and constitution you are very welcome to stay and we will even help you to assimilate. But if you cross the red line and commit crimes, start thinking and acting like jihad or sharia we will expel you the same out of our countries.

Fourth, we will have to close down all Islamic schools for they are fascist institutions, to prevent any further indoctrination of young children with an ideology of violence and hatred.

Fifth, we will have to close down all radical and forbid the construction of any new mosques, there is enough Islam in Europe. Besides that, as long as Christians in Turkey, Egypt, Iraq, Iran, Pakistan and Indonesia are treated in the scandalous ways they currently are, and as long as no permission is given for churches to be built or bibles to be sold in, for example, Saudi Arabia, there should be a mosque building-stop in the West.

Sixth, last but not least, we will have to get rid of all those cowardly so-called leaders. We enjoy the privilege of living in a democracy. Let’s use that privilege by replacing cowards with heroes. Let’s have fewer Chamberlains and more Churchills. Lets elect real leaders.

In short, ladies and gentlemen, my main message of today is that we have to start fighting back. No defence, but offence. We have to fight back and demonstrate that millions of people are sick and tired of it all and refuse to take any more. We must make it clear that millions of freedom-loving people are saying ‘enough is enough’.

Ladies and gentlemen, Europe is at the crossroads once again. We either choose the road to darkness or the road to freedom.

My generation never had to fight for this freedom, it was offered to us on a silver platter, by people who fought for it with their lives. My generation does not own this freedom, we are merely its custodians. We cannot strike a deal with Mullahs and imams. We cannot surrender and give up our liberties, we simply do not have the right to do so.

Ladies and gentlemen, we are in the winning mood! Cultural relativists and Shariah-socialists are losing, freedom loving people are winning. Things are changing for the better.

Ladies and gentlemen, and I leave you with this: We will never give in, we will never give up, we will never surrender, we have to win, and we will win!

Thank you very much.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

A letter to Dr Laura

Dear Dr. Laura,

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind him that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific laws and how to best follow them.

a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness ( Lev 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

d) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

e) I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an Abomination (Lev 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

g) Lev 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev 19:27. How should they die?

i) I know from Lev 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? ( Lev 24:10-16) Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? ( Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted disciple and adoring fan.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Blind State

From our guest blogger Juliette

When I fell asleep last night with people talking about the European elections on the radio, I was feeling seriously pissed off about the whole thing. There's really sod all choice. They're all rubbish. And people wonder why I don't bother voting. Jesus.

Then, like the great Martin Luther King, I had a dream.

Apologies to those of you who are too young/American/Australian to remember that landmark of vintage televisual brilliance Blind Date. But the dream in question went something like this...)

(Blind Date opening credits. Cilla Black comes onto the set, grinning perkily)

Cilla - Hello, and welcome to Blind Date! And now, it's time to meet the fellas that one lucky lady will be choosing between tonight! Ladies and gentlemen, let's have a big hand for our Nick, from Nuremberg!

(audience applause. Enter Nick Griffin, who walks in and perches on one of the stools.)

Cilla ; Now, Nick, that's a lovely black shirt you're wearing tonight.

Nick : Thanks, Cilla. It's funny, because black's not my favourite colour normally!

(audience applause and laughter)

Cilla : And let's give a big hand to Number Two, Our Dave from Eton!

(audience applause. David Cameron walks in and perches on one of the seats.)

Cilla : So, our Dave. I hear you lead a bit of a glamorous life - tell us all about it!

Dave : No, really - I'm just like any other ordinary working dad trying to balance work with having a family and owning a 25,000,000 acre estate housing 5,000 serfs, 8,000 vassals, 98 serving wenches and a private army.

Cilla : And you live in a castle, is that right?

Dave : Well, yes... but it's not a big castle. It's only got 25 bedrooms. I'm just a regular guy when you get to know me, Cilla.

Cilla : And last but not least, let's hear it for Number Three - Our Gordon, from Rampton!

(Audience cheers. Gordon Brown led on by white-coated aide and coaxed into chair, where he sits staring into space with a spreading wet patch on the front of his trousers).

Cilla : And here's the lucky girl who'll get to pick one of these three charming fellas! Let's hear it for Juliette!

(Blind Date music. Audience applause. Enter Juliette).

Cilla : So what sort of fella are you looking for, Juliette?

Juliette : Well, I'm just an old romantic really, Cilla. I just want someone who's going to listen to me, and treat me like I'm special. Not lie to me or mess me about, or drag me into dodgy wars, or steal my money to get his moat cleaned out. That sort of thing.

Cilla : Let's get down to business, then, Juliette! You've got your three questions for our fabulous fellas - take it away!

Juliette : Okay. My first question is, how would you take me to our first date? And that goes to.... Number Two.

Dave - On my ecologically friendly vote-winning bicycle - and I'll give you a ride to remember every time!

(audience shrieks and whistles)

Juliette : Number One?

Nick - I'd get you there in a racing car - because when you're with me, we'll always win the master race!

Juliette : And to Number Three?

(Gordon stares blankly into space with spreading wet patch on front of his trousers)

Juliette : Okay, my next question. If you could be an animal, what sort of animal would you be - and why? And that goes to.... Number One.

Nick - Well, Juliette, I'd be a polar bear - because they're big, they're cuddly and they're totally white!

Juliette : And same question to Number Two?

Dave - I'd be a baby seal - because I'm cute, fluffy and clubbable! And if you don't pick me, Juliette, the fur's going to fly tonight!

(Audience cheers and whistles)

Juliette : And to Number Three?

(Gordon stares blankly into space with spreading wet patch on front of his trousers)

Juliette : And my final question. If you took me out for dinner, where would you take me - and why? And that goes to... Number One.

Nick : Well, Juliette, I'd take you down to the local Indian curry house where we could throw bricks through the window - and we'd be sure to have a smashing time!

(audience laughter and applause)

Juliette : Same question to Number Two.

Dave : I'd take you to a Jamie Oliver restaurant, for an ethically-sourced, nutritionally-balanced meal to remember. And Juliette - when you see my meat and two veg, you'll definitely come back for a second helping!

(audience goes wild for a full minute, whistling and cheering)

Juliette : And Number Three?

(Gordon stares blankly into space with spreading wet patch on front of his trousers)

Cilla - Oh, Juliette, decisions, decisions - but before you make your mind up, let's have a re-cap from Our Graham.

(voice over from Our Graham, to Blind Date music)

(Our Graham) Well, Juliette, are you going to go for our saucy Number One, who doesn't believe the Holocaust ever happened - but who could be the final solution for your love life?

(Nick grins and winks at the camera)

Or will you choose sexy Number Two, who looks like a freshly buttered new potato - but he'll eat you for lunch?

(Dave grins and winks at the camera)

Or will you choose our catatonic Number Three, who may be mentally unstable - but get your straitjacket, love, you've just pulled!

(Gordon stares blankly into space with spreading wet patch on the front of his trousers)

Juliette - Well, Cilla - it's a tough decision, but I think I'm going to go for Number Two.

Cilla - Oh, Juliette - look who you turned down! How could you resist our Nick, from Nuremberg?

(audience applause. Nick goose-steps out, gives a Nazi salute, kisses Juliette on the cheek and walks off stage.)

Cilla - And you also turned down Number Three - our Gordon, from Rampton!

(audience applause. White-coated aide hurries out again, takes Gordon's arm and guides him slowly round the concealing screen and out of sight.)

Cilla ; But now, let's see who you did choose! You chose Number Two - and that was our Dave, from Eton! Come out, Dave!

(audience applause louder than ever. Dave walks out looking reasonably normal, and kisses a relieved-looking Juliette on the cheek.)

Cilla (holding out a selection of envelopes) Now - it's time to decide where you're going to go on your date! Who's going to pick?

Juliette : You can, if you like.

Dave : No, really, I insist.

(Juliette murmurs 'thank you', picks an envelope, tears open the envelope excitedly - then, momentarily speechless, shows Cilla what it says.)

Cilla - Oooh, Juliette, it looks like you're both off to Hell - in a handbasket!

(Audience cheers and applause)

Cilla : Off you go, and have fun! And be sure to come back in five years' time, and tell us all what a nightmare it was - and why you're never voting for the fucking Tories ever again!

Exit, pursued by a Blair...

J x

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Even Sky News hates Gordon Brown

Hat tip Grumpy Old Twat

Was the plug pulled or did the Gorgon turn the camera to stone?

From Andrew Marr this morning. Mandelson

Hat tip Daily Wail

I had to listen to all of Mandelson, Prince of Darkness but he finally did slip up

58 minutes in to the program, the juicy bit at 58.28 on Iplayer

And I quote

Mandelson" And I think one of the reasons we dont have that person,is because in the cabinet we have people who think highly of Gordon Brown and are united against him, and secondly they know full well that if we were to have a third leader in a single parliament Gets interrupted by Andrew Marr here by saying ok ok

Freudian Slip or reality?

The iplayer link will work for one week so get over there and see the silver tongued one damn Gordon.

Gordon Brown: You're Fired

Borrowed shamelessly from the Crown Blogspot this deserves a wider audience

One of the funniest Youtube if you want to videos out

Friday, June 5, 2009

The Hoon has Gone

Geoff Hoon has gone folks

According to the BBC or Pravda as we like to call it

Why the ID Database won't be secure

To those of you out there who think the ID Database will be a good thing I would like to point you at this story...

A GLASGOW council worker was sacked and another resigned after they were caught snooping into the core database of the Government's Identity Card scheme.

The two Glasgow staff were caught snooping on people in the Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) Customer Information Systems (CIS) database, which includes among its 85 million records the personal details about everyone in the UK, and which the Identity and Passport Service plans to use as the foundation of the national ID scheme.

"A member of staff tried to access stuff about famous figures," said a spokesman for Glasgow City Council. He said the DWP alerted the council about the breach. He refused to name the celebrity or say how the council dealt with the matter.

Now let's just make one thing clear to people. If the government builds a great big super database your data will NOT be SECURE.

And no amount of magic fairy-dust technology will change this.

The greatest threat to all data security are the people who have access to it. If you can't trust them you're screwed.

And there is no point in the state building a super database unless a lot of its employees have access to it. Otherwise how will it help them control us?

So the question you must ask yourself is, how many perverts and weirdos does the state employ?

Sweet dreams...

Guest blog post by RobW

Thursday, June 4, 2009

For David and for James for whom this blog started

Mr Brown Your time is over.

Step aside or the British Public will give you a 5th of November to remember for the rest of your life.

L is for Labour

James Purnell Quits

More woes from the Government with James Purnell going

so heres a little election light relief for you all

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the No. 10. Downing street
One is an English worker , another is a scottish worker , and the third is an Indian worker .
All three go with a No.10 offical to examine the fence.

The English contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. "Well," he says, "I figure the job will run to about £500:- £200 for materials, £200 for my crew and £100 profit for me."
The Scottish contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do this job for £600: £250 for materials, £250 for my crew and £100 profit for me."
The Indian contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the No. 10 official and whispers, "£1500."
The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?"
The Indian contractor whispers back, "£500 for me, £500 for you, and we hire the English contractor to fix the fence."
"Done!" replies the governme nt official.
And that, my friends, is how the new stimulus plan will work.


Dear Gordon

We both love the Labour Party.

I have worked for it for twenty years and you for far longer. We know we owe it everything and it owes us nothing.

I owe it to our Party to say what I believe no matter how hard that may. I now believe your continued leadership makes a Conservative victory more not less likely

That would be disastrous for our country. This moment calls for stronger regulation, an active state, better public services, an open democracy.

It calls for a government that measures itself by how it treats thepoorest in society. Those are our values, not David Cameron's.

We therefore owe it to our country to give it a real choice. We need to show that we are prepared to fight to be a credible government and have the courage to offer an alternative future.

I am therefore calling on you to stand aside to give our Party a fighting chance of winning. And as such I am resigning from Government.

The Party was here long before us, and we want it to be here long after we have gone. We must do the right thing by it.

I am not seeking the leadership, nor acting with anyone else. My actions are my own considered view, nothing more.

If the consensus is that you should continue, then I will supportthe government loyally from the backbenches. But I do believe that this question now needs to be put.

Thank you for giving me the privilege of serving.


Rt Hon James Purnell MP

Et Tu Brute

Beware the Ides of June

Gordon must be feeling rather upset now that Darling and Miliband have said that they are not for moving from their Cabinet Jobs.

Story in the Daily Wail

Need more signatures


We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to resign. More details

Submitted by Kalvis Jansons – Deadline to sign up by: 22 October 2009 – Signatures: 64,999

Boris Johnson falls in the River

Snouts in the trough is one thing Falling into one is another.

Nineteen Boxes on the Ballot Paper for London

Nineteen boxes

That was the choice I had moments ago when I did my democratic duty for the EU elections.

I am happy to say that I voted for an independent. Even the UKIP didnt get my vote here.

I was going to vote UKIP but then I thought Sod that I dont even like them

So I voted with my principles and went for someone completely unknown

Better than spoiling the ballot paper.

Labour get Desperate

This came through my door yesterday.

It shows the level of desperation and the depths to which Labour will try and use fear to make people do what the Labour party wants.

I ask you is that civilised of them? No it is not.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Gordon has a secret plan to Join the EURO

From PJC journal
Whitehall departments are spending time and taxpayers’ money updating their plans for the switch and each one has a named minister in charge of the process, it emerged in the Express today.

Detailed talks have taken place in departments about what they would have to do if Britain joined.

They include explaining to the public how the move would affect their council tax and business-rate bills and how the BBC would pay for the £10 million cost of changing the TV licence fee to Euros.

The disclosures come just months after European Commission president Jose Manuel Barroso claimed Britain was “closer than ever” to joining the Euro.

Shadow Cabinet Office minister Francis Maude said:

“The public will be alarmed that Government departments are spending time and money on preparing to scrap the pound.

“It now appears that Gordon Brown and Lord Mandelson have a secret Whitehall agenda to exploit their appalling mismanagement of the public finances and use it as an excuse to join the Euro.
“Time and resources better spent on improving local public services are now being spent on preparing to issue council tax bills and TV licences in the new currency.

Libertarian Party leader Ian Parker-Joseph said:

"The need for a huge change of direction in order to facilitate recovery in the UK from a debt based economy to one based upon sound financial grounding means that the very idea of joining a monetary system that would be outside of our control is unthinkable".

“When President Barroso said ‘the people who matter in Britain are currently thinking about’ joining the Euro, he certainly wasn’t talking about the British people. He was talking about Gordon Brown and his team of ‘Euro ministers’.”

Today, a ComRes survey for the TaxPayers’ Alliance reveals that just 28 per cent of the public think Britain should join the Euro, with 68 per cent opposing the move.
The Communities and Local Government Department’s plan spells out the need to prepare for council tax and business rate bills to be issued in the new currency.

Remember that it was a Tory MEP who stated in the EU Parliament that he could not wait for the Conservatives to win power in the UK so that the Euro could be implemented.

If you continue to VOTE THE SAME, you will continue to GET THE SAME

Hung Parliament

With thanks to Gigits

Monday, June 1, 2009

Questions for Canvassers

By Neil Clark

British voters go to the polls on June 4 to choose who will represent them in the European Parliament. Canvassers will be on your doorstep soliciting your vote. How to respond? Here are some questions which show up the contradictions - and sometimes the absurdities - in each of the parties' policies.

Questions for Labour
1. Why did your party break its promise, made it in its 2005 manifesto, to hold a referendum on the new EU Constitution?

2. Why does your party support the UK's opt-out from the EU's Working Time directive, even though a majority of Labour MEPs oppose this opt-out?

3. Why, after the unhappy experience of railway privatisation in Britain, has the British Government pushed for other European countries to 'liberalise' their excellent domestic rail services ?

Questions for Conservatives
1. Why, when your leader is calling for a work-life balance, does your party campaign for Britain's continued opt-out of the EU's Working Time directive, which would restrict the working week to a maximum of 48 hours?

2. Why does your party support a referendum on the Lisbon Treaty, but not one on Britain's continued membership of the EU?

3. Does your party agree with views expressed by leading Conservative MEP Daniel Hannan on Fox TV in America, that the NHS was a 60-year "mistake" which has made British people "iller"?

Questions for Liberal Democrats
1. If your party is so committed to 'Europe acting together', why is it against the formation of a European Army to replace the US-led Nato?

2. Can you explain how your party would reduce unemployment when it is committed to a 'liberal and open system' of global free trade and supports the elimination of subsidies?

3. Why, if your party says it doesn't want to compromise 'Britain's traditional legal system and civil liberties', does it support the European Arrest Warrant, under which a British citizen can be deported for something which is not considered a crime in this country?

Questions for UKIP
1. Why does your party say 'No to the EU', but 'Yes' to the EU's generous MEP salaries and expenses?

2. You claim that your opposition to the EU is due to a desire to protect Britain's national sovereignty. But why do you support British membership of other bodies such as the World Trade Organisation and Nato which also impinge sovereignty?

3. Why does your party refuse to publish details of its MEPs' expenses?

Questions for the Green Party
1. Where would the money for your proposed £45bn 'Green New Deal' come from?

2. How do the introduction of Eco Taxes, which hit the poor disproportionately harder than the rich, square with your commitment to greater equality and social justice?

3. Why does your party not address in its manifesto what Sir David Attenborough has described as "the frightening explosion in human numbers" and the effect that population growth has on the environment?

Questions for the BNP
1. How can you claim not to be a racist party, when membership of your party is restricted to 'indigenous British ethnic groups deriving from the class of "Indigenous Caucasian"'?

2. Your party's website states that "anyone not born here who commits a crime here should be deported". Would that apply to the likes of Sir Cliff Richard (born in India), Joanna Lumley (India), and Peter Hitchens (Malta)?

3. Why does your party's website put the word British in inverted commas when describing the black UKIP candidate Rustie Lee, a British citizen who has lived in the country since childhood?

Well I have one to add to that Nigella Lawson are you going to repatriate her to Lithuania?

Parliament June 1st

Old Holborn was there too

Resplendent in his V costume

The police were taking video or photos of everyone who hung around for more than a minute.

We actually live in a police state. Welcome to the database.