Showing posts with label Funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Funny. Show all posts
Saturday, September 19, 2009
The Elephant in the Room
Be careful about lying to people you may be avoiding the elephant in the room but you will always be caught out.
Truth will out.
That is all
Hat tip Salty
This is the best cartoon I have seen in a long while.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Sunday, June 14, 2009
A letter to Dr Laura
Dear Dr. Laura,
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind him that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.
I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific laws and how to best follow them.
a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness ( Lev 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
d) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?
e) I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?
f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an Abomination (Lev 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?
g) Lev 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?
h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev 19:27. How should they die?
i) I know from Lev 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? ( Lev 24:10-16) Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? ( Lev. 20:14)
I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help.
Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.
Your devoted disciple and adoring fan.
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind him that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.
I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific laws and how to best follow them.
a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness ( Lev 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
d) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?
e) I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?
f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an Abomination (Lev 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?
g) Lev 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?
h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev 19:27. How should they die?
i) I know from Lev 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? ( Lev 24:10-16) Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? ( Lev. 20:14)
I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help.
Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.
Your devoted disciple and adoring fan.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Bit of Light Relief
I thought I should share a nice little photo session ( courtesy of B3ta) with you.Midweek light relief ( yes I know its Thursday) I was busy... click on the picture to enlarge it and read it in full Technicolour.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Light relief
MacDonald's have started home delivery service to Bihar a state in India renowned for its rurality and poverty.
Monday, December 17, 2007
Sluts and the City
A valuable resource for Sex and the City...
Normal blogging will come back soon but to get you all in the festive mood here is something a little x rated to cheer you up.
Normal blogging will come back soon but to get you all in the festive mood here is something a little x rated to cheer you up.
Friday, November 23, 2007
Something for the weekend
Im not feeling up to swearblogging today. I think I overdid it on the first post yesterday
Click first post and see, in the mean time enjoy your Friday night.
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
It could only happen in India
A man who was cursed with a disability after he stoned two dogs to death has married a a female dog.
Link here
Normally you'd expect the bride to be human but in this case his wife really is a bitch.
And his wife is the daughter of a bitch.
Well I suppose it takes all sorts.
Monday, July 2, 2007
Saturday, June 30, 2007
Re rating
Im gutted It seems that the Anglosaxon doesnt actually do anything apart from give it a PG13 rating
More to follow folks
Update.
Lets add sex drugs and rock and roll
Thursday, June 7, 2007
Cool Dude Rio
Cool Dude Rio vs
Originally uploaded by Screaming Bertha.
Friend sent me a picture of his doberman dressed for the hot weather and quite funny it is too
Cheered me up
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